Mercury is Messin’ Up My Man Too!…

Wow…two posts in one day…it’s either feast or famine in Hammond River!  This morning, I posted about my messed-up week…I blamed it on Mercury being in retrograde.  I had to tell you about our shopping trip this afternoon.

Anna had arranged to meet her friend in town to look for a dress for Caberet (fancy word for a fancy dance), and do some Christmas shopping.  Hope was spending the weekend at a friend’s house.  We had to drop off Brianna and Devin at their mom’s on the way.  I also wanted to get a photo of a “roadside shoe” we saw yesterday when we took Bri and Dev to school for my friend Maura’s blog.  She has an ongoing feature on orphaned footwear…this was the first one I’d seen since I found out about it.  Of course, I didn’t have a camera in the car!

We left the kids at their mom’s, and drove to the high school.  Of course, the snow plow had come along, and relocated my photo subject…it was nowhere to be found!

We dropped Anna off at an uptown shopping centre, and headed to the east side, where the biggest shopping area is.  Our first stop was Canadian Tire…all their toys were on for 50% off, and there was also a coupon for $15 off if you spent $60 (before taxes)…Gramma wanted to get baby Elise some toys!  When we went to get a cart, an older lady was struggling to separate two carts, which were stuck together.  Jim, being the gentleman he is, offered to help her.  He pulled and pulled to no avail.  Then I reached over, and with two fingers, lifted up the part of the cart that was sticking to the other one…problem solved!  Glad I fixed it before Jim put his back out!

About an hour and two phone calls to Kaylee later, we arrived at the checkout with a cart full of retro toys (Kaylee wants Elise to have the toys she had!)…Jim had also stocked up on windshield washer.  There were only three cashiers open, and about 25 people in line.  The people in front of us were balancing large objects (without carts), and we let them go ahead when another cash opened up.  One guy mentioned that he had forgotten to pick up the windshield washer he came in for when he saw the great price on the shelf unit he was buying.  Jim offered to give him one of the three different kinds of washer we had in our cart (one yellow and two purple!), so he wouldn’t have to go back.  The guy thanked us, and pulled up another cart for us to load our stuff into as we checked out.  I used our coupon, and my Canadian Tire points on my MasterCard, and ended up getting another $30 off my half-price toys and my “on sale” heater.

Then we went to Shoppers Drug Mart…Jim was planning to spend his  Optimum points on some stocking stuffers for the kids.  We had $170 worth of “free money” to play with, so we got a few things for us too.  Cookies and snack crackers were 99 cents…score!  Three boxes of cookies and four of crackers went into the cart.  Toilet paper was on sale for $3.99 for 12 double rolls…I stacked my cart with 4 packs of that (the limit!).  A man asked me if we were expecting a lot of company over the holidays…I told him that we had four teenagers at home (he shook his head in amazement)!  Tampons and Gravol and liquid soap…oh, my!  We filled up the first cart, and Jim went to get a second one.  He and the kids love pop, and it was on sale, 4 2-liter bottles for $5.  Jim loaded four bottles into his cart.  I was keeping careful track of how much stuff we were getting, and let Jim know when we had reached the limit.  We maneuvered our overflowing carts to the busy checkouts…same story as Canadian Tire…too many people and too few clerks!  Finally, it was our turn.  Jim grabbed a bottle of root beer out of his cart, and tried to set it on the counter.  He juggled it, missed, and it hit the floor.  Then the cap came off and the bottle exploded, shooting down the aisle behind us like a rocket, spraying everyone in its path with sticky goodness!  I am not exaggerating when I say it went at least 150 feet, before coming to rest under a display.  Apparently, the two people in front of Jim got the worst of the root beer shower…he apologized profusely (while I escaped to go get another bottle of root beer…you had to buy four to get the sale price, after all!).  Here’s Jim’s account of the incident (stolen from Facebook):  “It fell flat on its side, sat there for 1/4 of a second, blew the lid off and then launched itself past a row of people at the checkout behind us.  It travelled the entire length of an aisle shooting under a display part way down the aisle.  The folks in front of us in, lets call it, the blast zone, were showered up to their waist.  To paraphrase JFK, we choose not to go to the cold and headache display because it is easy, we choose to go there because it is hard.  It’s even harder to go back to that Shoppers for at least a few weeks.”

Jim snapped this photo of the aftermath of the "root beer incident" with his Blackberry...those are my legs and purse at the right...we didn't tell the people in line that I had a blog...

We went to the big mall to pick up Anna…she informed us that she wasn’t finished shopping yet, and wanted to know if we could pick her up later.  I grabbed a few essentials at the grocery store while Jim did some more Christmas shopping, and we headed home.  We were tired and hungry.  After putting our purchases away, I threw a couple of pizzas in the oven for supper.  Jim got some ice out of the freezer and put it in a glass, and went out to get the pop from our “cold storage,” the closet at the top of the basement stairs.  I heard ice cubes hit the floor, and a bad word or two.  Jim had slipped in the entryway and dropped his ice.  At least he didn’t fall!

Anna called an hour later to tell us she was ready to come home.  She didn’t find a dress that fit for the dance, but she did manage to get some other shopping done…I actually got some of my money back!  I’m sure I’ll end up giving it back to her later, though.  We arrived home without further incident.

I wonder what tomorrow has in store for us?

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28 Comments

Filed under family, satire, shopping

28 responses to “Mercury is Messin’ Up My Man Too!…

  1. Glad to know Jim escaped Canadian Tire without a back injury!

    Clearly this is not the most obvious observation regarding this post–BUT–the tire store sells toys? I’m picturing automotive parts being sold along side Barbie’s Dream House.

    Or have I just spent too much time in Port-au-Prince–the toxic fumes of burning tire having impared my ability to process the complexity that is RETAIL in North America?

    Glad to hear you kept the blog thing to yourself–wouldn’t want someone to launch a root beer boycott of your blog!

    • Yes, Kathy…Canadian Tire does sell tires (and car parts, hardware, small appliances, paint, gasoline, and lots of other things!) as well as toys! They’ve always sold bikes and sporting goods, so I guess toys is a natural extension of that. They only have two or three aisles of toys (not like Walmart, for example), but sometimes they’re items that you don’t see everywhere else!

      Wendy

  2. Maybe everybody should just stay home all day. And move slowly!

  3. Quite the day for you and Jim. I’m so happy that he didn’t fall and get hurt. At least you got some Christmas shopping done and sounds like some good deals in the mix. I got tired just reading about your day. Hope you have some down time planned for today. Jeanne

  4. The part about Jim trying to separate the shopping carts made me laugh. As a guy, I firmly believe Jim would have figured it out, eventually, maybe.

  5. So much excitement! The root beer incident is classic, I can just imagine how much ‘fun’ that was. :-)

  6. The root beer stunt is excellent – I’m sure Jim couldn’t repeat it if he tried! Well played. Did the shoppers in the spray path find it funny?? It’s fabulous blogging material … :-)
    I hope your next few days are incident-free!
    Sunshine xx

  7. You two better take it easy and lay low tomorrow:) Diane

  8. Hollz

    Wendy, you and Jim are not alone with crazy things happening this week/weekend! I seem to have no luck at all right now!

    PS, Keep posting, I always get a kick out of reading your blog, and keep saying I should start my own :)

    • Thanks, Holly…didn’t know you were one of my readers! I appreciate it! You should start your own blog…you’d probably be good at it! I’ve met all kinds of neat people online… Hope your week this week is less crazy! Wendy

  9. What a way to cap off a crazy week. Hope the stomach distress is gone. Can you eat chicken or fish? Jeanne

  10. Hi Wendy,

    Well, that was some shopping trip!! Enjoyed reading about it.

    I’m glad Jim escaped injury twice in one day and you managed to get your money’s worth of stuff! I’ve never been in the US or Canada (have never been ever), at Christmas, but your descriptions of the toilet paper and the four 2-liter bottles of Pop for $5 took me back to my first visit to Sams in Cinncinati – the size of the store, the variety and the giant sizes in almost everything took my breath away. I seem to remember we bought a lot of soap!!

    Hugs, H.

    • Thanks, Harsha…2-litre bottles of pop are the standard “family size” here…I remember the day Jim joined Costco…he came home with a giant jar of olives, just because he could! I don’t even like olives… I’m not sure why they put toilet paper on sale at Christmas…I understand things like chocolates and ice cream! Wendy

  11. We just lost power and I dropped my camera on its head! i wonder if that is Mercury Retrograde. It seems to be retrograde more than not!

  12. Yikes!! Quite the trip… I think it’s hilarious he snapped a photograph of the exploding root beer :)

    I hope things calm down soon!

  13. Posting evidence with a pic on your blog? That’s brave.

  14. Oh–the roadside shoe that never was! Curses, Mercury Retrograde!

    Poor Jim. I knocked down an entire display once, so I totally feel his pain.

    • Some day, I will find another roadside shoe, Maura, when I actually have a camera with me… I remember dropping a jar of applesauce in the grocery store once…it broke…that was embarrassing! Wendy

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