Herbivore Havoc, Holy Crap, and Hamlet…NEW POST!

Herbivore Havoc

"We'll just wait here until she goes in the house!" (photo by Anna)

I’m really starting to hate Bambi and his relatives…because of them, I’m not going to have any produce to put in the freezer for the winter this year.  They have feasted on all the plants from my $130 worth of organic seeds, and the seedlings that I bought to replace plants that weren’t doing very well.  The arugula and the leeks are the only things they haven’t eaten.  My total harvest so far has been three or four salads, a few meals of spinach/beet greens (before the deer got in the first time), one zucchini, and three meals of green beans/peas (I put away some 40 bags of green beans last year!).  I have fewer than 10 green tomatoes (of various sizes and varieties) that they have not discovered and devoured.  The root vegetables have virtually no leaves on them…I had hoped my rutabaga, beets, and carrots would be spared…I was wrong!

Leafless, fruitless zucchini...

Leafless pole beans...

Leafless bush beans among the weeds...they're the stick-like green and purple things...

Chewed off tomato plant...

Munched beet greens/Swiss chard...

Holy Crap

About a week-and-a-half ago, one of my Market vendors asked me to put a new product they were carrying on our website: it was billed as “The world’s most amazing breakfast cereal” and was called Holy Crap.  The cereal had been featured on CBC’s Dragon’s Den (a program where entrepreneurs pitch their business ideas to experts) last fall.  I read the literature, and decided to [gulp] pay the hefty $13 bag price tag (8 oz. or 225 grams) to try some.  The cereal is a mix of three organic grains and seeds: chia, hulled hemp seeds, and buckwheat, and three organic fruits: raisins, dried cranberries and apple.  It is gluten and lactose-free.  Every morning since last Saturday, I have stirred a tablespoon of Holy Crap into a container of yogurt, let it sit for five minutes, and eaten it for a mid-morning snack.  I’ve been bringing half my bag lunch home with me…I haven’t been hungry enough to eat it all.  In the evening, instead of sitting down with a bowl of chips, I’ve been eating more Holy Crap with yogurt.  Here’s the best part: I’ve been watching my considerable “muffin top” get smaller and smaller all week.  My clothes fit better!  The first bag of cereal lasted nine days.  I’m going to keep using it, and try to get Jim on to it when he gets back as well.  If I can lose weight just by eating a certain food, I’m going to keep doing it!

Holy Crap (photo from holycrap.ca)

Hamlet

Last night, Dad and I stayed in town after work to see a performance of Hamlet – one of our friends had a lead role (Claudius).  The play was being performed in a tent behind the Saint John Theatre Company’s new building on Princess Street (billed as “Shakespeare in the Parking Lot”).  We paid our money and took our seats in folding chairs.  As we waited for the performance to start, we noticed music and loud voices coming from a party in the courtyard of the building next door.  Unfortunately, it continued, getting louder and louder throughout the first act of the play.  Shakespeare is hard enough to follow when one isn’t being distracted, but actors trying to perform while competing with beer-swilling yahoos and top hits of the 1970’s was more than either of us could take.  We made our exit, vowing to contact the theatre company to see if we could come back and see the whole show without disturbance (at no cost) next week.  The acting was wonderful, especially the man playing Hamlet – he showed how loopy the Danish prince truly was!

I sent a message on Facebook to the director of the play, and she is graciously providing free tickets for the Tuesday night performance…there’s an 80% chance of rain that night…perhaps that will keep the partiers indoors!  I look forward to seeing Act 1 again, and Act 2 for the first time!

Jim and the kids are back Tuesday from their vacation adventure…looking forward to seeing their pictures!

Have a good week…I hope to read some of your blog posts in my spare time…

68 Comments

Filed under food, gardening, nature, rants, satire

68 responses to “Herbivore Havoc, Holy Crap, and Hamlet…NEW POST!

  1. Holy Crap sounds intriguing! Sounds like you needed to buy something to eat since your garden has become Barbie’s salad bar. We’ve had a bunny population boom in our yard.
    Shakespeare meets Animal House?

    • Holy Crap is amazing…I’ve been telling everyone I know about it! Really sad about my garden…really mad at the dumbasses who ruined our fence! Hoping Take 2 of Shakespeare is more “thespian” than “pedestrian”! Thanks for stopping by, Amy…I’ll try to get over to your place soon! Wendy

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about your garden. We lost a lot of vegetables from some kind of bugs–don’k know what kind–but we are getting some tomatoes and lettuce–not to mention lots of herbs.

    I’m interested in the Holy Crap–sounds like great stuff, but what does it taste like?

    Hope you have a good week and your second round of Hamlet is not rained out!

    Kathy

    • Glad you’re getting some tomatoes and lettuce, Kathy…I didn’t plant herbs this year (which is probably a good thing…the deer probably would have eaten those too!). Holy Crap tastes good…not like something you eat just because it’s good for you (the fruit provides natural sweetness)! I like it better with yogurt than just as a cereal…I find it a bit plain that way. The performance of Hamlet is in a tent, so we’ll be fine! Hugs, Wendy

  3. How awful about your garden. Is there any way to grow it and keep the deer out? A fence of sorts around the vegetable patch?

    I’m intrigued by the Holy Crap cereal. Is it available in the states?

    Hope the coming week goes well for you and Jim!

    • Hi Monica: Jim is in the process of building a new fence…the sad part is that the deer had never been in our garden until this year when the workmen ruined my old fence. Now they know about the smorgasbord, and have been telling all their friends. We will have a 8-10 foot fence ready for next year! If you click on the Holy Crap link, it will take you to the website. Shipping is free in Canada and the U.S. (cereal is made in British Columbia). Looking forward to seeing Jim and the kids when they get home on Tuesday night! Wendy

  4. So sorry to hear about your garden. My daughters have had the same bad luck with Bambi and Friends. The deer at all their plants to the ground in just one night. They replanted but nothing is doing as well as it did last year.

    I’ll have to check out Holy Crap…I can use all the help I can get.

    • Thanks, Jeanne…it took a few nights for our deer to eat it all…hugely disappointing, especially since we had such a wonderful crop last year! Let me know how the cereal works for you! I’m certainly pleased after only a week! Wendy

  5. Wendy, I so empathize with your plight regarding your garden. This year, it was the weather that ruined ours — too hot, too dry, I guess. As for Bambi and friends, sounds as if you need a good herding dog who will usher them off (might I recommend a Sheltie??). And really, does that Holy Crap stuff work — if so, and if it tastes better than a brown paper bag, you might be onto something!

    • My great-grandfather actually bred Shelties, Debbie! The deer just look at Jake when he barks at them! I really like the taste of the cereal…I’m sure I’ve lost at least five lbs. since I started! Wendy

  6. jacquelincangro

    The name of that cereal cracks me up every time I read it. I guess that was a stroke of marketing genius! You’ll never forget it. It might also make a good Abbott and Costello “Who’s on first” routine.
    “Honey, what are you eating for breakfast?”
    “Holy crap.”

    Sorry to hear about the deer eating your crops. So disappointing. I wonder why they’re coming around this year when they didn’t bother your garden last year.

  7. Bambi may be adorable, but very destructive. We’ve had our problems with Bambi over the years. I guess that’s the price we pay for living in wide open spaces, although I know the deer are coming closer to towns all the time.

    Glad you were able to get tickets to see the show for next week. Hopefully, this time you’ll be able to hear it all.

    • Thanks, Laura…our area in particular has been overrun with deer, because their natural enemies (like coyotes) have been mostly killed off, and because their homes in the woods are being destroyed by housing developments! I’m looking forward to the second run of Hamlet…it was really good! Wendy

  8. Wendy,

    I wish you “Not a deer stirring.” – Hamlet, 1.1, with apologies to Shakespeare,

    I love the cereal’s name – Holy Crap!

    AAmen

  9. Sorry to hear about your garden–maybe you could fill your fridge with venison instead of vegetables?

  10. Cheryl

    How sad about your garden. I have no suggestions to offer how to co-existing with these, beautiful creatures … electric fence, perhaps, the kind that keeps cattle and dogs in? One strand at the approprite height strung around your garden? I just have to order a bag of Holy Crap! It would be interesting to see if their sales sky rocket because of your post. The creative minds at the Theatre Company should have done their homework!

  11. Shame about the deer and the drunk partiers who don’t appreciate Shakespeare, but great news about cereal. Who knew you could lose weight by eating Crap?

  12. You hate Bambi? Who Knew! :-)
    Holy Crap is certainly worth a try! I can actually feel good about eating crap.
    Glad you get a do-over with Hamlet?

    • Bambi AND the rest of his family, Katybeth!

      Let me know if you try the cereal…my friend, Belinda (one of the hardest-working women I know) works about an 80-hour week…she says she finds she has more energy now (she started eating Holy Crap the same day I did).

      Looking forward to Act Two of Hamlet tomorrow night…

      Will try to get to your place and visit soon!

      Hugs,
      Wendy

  13. Holy Crap!! I’m probably going to need some Holy Crap once I get home. Been on vacation since Aug. 5 ( Toronto, Niagara Falls, Finger Lakes) and I am afraid to step on the scale when I get home tomorrow. I’m also afraid to see my garden after viewing yours because we weren’t home to discourage the critters.

  14. No deer here, Wendy, but all the rain we’ve been getting since June has apparently produced a baby boom in the slug population. And they seem to have voracious appetites, chewing up everything but the weeds. (Do slugs have teeth?)

    I hope you get to hear Hamlet this time.

  15. I am very sorry to hear about the deer. In my part of Canada, my garden has been partly eaten by deer, and badly beaten by hail. I’m waiting for the rabbits to creep in and finish it off…

    • Oh dear, Margie! They had some bad hail earlier in the summer in another part of New Brunswick…it ruined a lot of farmers’ crops! We rarely see rabbits here…however, the groundhogs enjoy eating the garden as well. Crossing my fingers for a better year in 2012! Wendy

  16. Sorry about the garden. Whenever my paltry efforts fail, as they do every year, I think about how 200 years ago I’d be the pioneer who starved on the prairie – Donner, party of 1?

    After you ate the Holy Crap….was it?

    • Thanks, Peg! Holy Crap tastes really good, actually (especially mixed with yogurt – I threw some fresh blueberries in it this morning!). One of the main grains in it, chia, was supposed to have kept the Roman army alive for an entire winter according to the literature – the Donner party could have used some chia! I’m still eating 2 tbsp. of the cereal a day, and still losing weight! Wendy

  17. I am going to have to look into this cereal…I have gained some weight and am afraid to get on the scale!

    I hear and feel your garden-pain! My garden has had some trouble this season, too. I have no deer, but plenty of rabbitts and squirells and chipmunks. The squirells and crows like to eat the tomatoes first thing in the morning before I even get out there, and took most of my crop of large sandwhich tomatoes. Not the cherry ones, tho. Oddly, the bunnies leave the lettuces and herbs alone. And some boring moth larvea ate through the stalks of the zuchinni and yellow squash, bringing a halt to those! :(

    • Oh no, Spectra! That’s awful! Crossing my fingers for both of us for next year! Really glad deer don’t like blueberries…at least I’m getting those picked and put in the freezer! Let me know how you make out with the cereal…I’m still eating it every day, twice a day, and losing weight! Wendy

      • Wendy, I did look into the cereal, and it is very expensive. I eat gluten free, and this cereal is GF. I went and made, from scratch, a batch of Granola Bars with gf Oats, almond flour, flax meal, raisins, cranberries, and other great stuff. It satisfies as a snack, anyway, with honey and mollasses. Maybe I will treat myself at a later date to this cereal. Thanks for the referral anyway!

      • Agreed, Spectra…however, I only eat two tablespoons of it a day (stirred into yogurt for snacks) and I’m losing weight…easy peasy, and no sweating at the gym. A whole bunch of us are using it where I work…one girl lost 17 lb. after only three weeks on the Skinny B…I just started having that half the time…I was eating the Holy Crap exclusively for the first three weeks. Thanks for reading…sorry I haven’t been around to visit you (or anybody else) lately…this working for a living is getting in the way of my fun! Wendy

  18. I’m not sure why I bother with the garden. If it’s not one thing it’s another reaping the harvest instead of me!

  19. don’t know how my family would respond to Holy Crap even if I could get it here. :)

  20. Sorry for your poor garden :( but your post reminds me why I skip gardening and head to the farmer’s market instead. I’ll bet those deer love you though…
    and I Iaughed out loud & had to re-read the “holy crap” story. Great stuff. Gonna have to get me some – have you tried Greek yogurt? (double the protein as regular and not as tangy – thick & creamy – yummo!) Thanks for the tip .. and the laugh,
    MJ

    • Thanks, MJ…glad you got a laugh out of my post! Our fence next year will be much higher! Do try the Holy Crap…I’m loving the effects on me! I saw Greek yogurt at the grocery the other night, but found it rather expensive compared to the “regular” stuff. Will try to get over and visit your place soon! Wendy

  21. I’m headed to Saskatoon in September (that sounds like a country song doesn’t it? ) and I’ve already found a few stores along my “route” that sell “Holy Crap.” It will be an effective combatant to the sea of home-made buns that will greet me (a prairie girl, I’m gluten sensitive … sigh).

    Thanks for the tip! MJ

  22. But I’m sure the deer appreciated your efforts to go organic. It’s so hard for deer to find healthy food options.

  23. Holy Crap, I’ve missed you, Wendy Girl! Love this! x iz

  24. I feel back at home again reading your post, Wendy! I’ve been gone for two weeks and it’s fun to settle back into a good read! I’m gonna get me some Holy Crap!

  25. Aw, sorry about your garden, Wendy. And Holy Crap about Holy Crap. I need to find some for myself. Keep us posted on how it goes, but I’m all for anything that helps me shed muffin tops! Miss you and sorry it’s been so long since I’ve been around. I think about you every day! ♥ Diane

  26. Back in the game with a bang, right?
    Well done!

  27. Wendy, only you could get me excited about a cereal called, “Holy Crap.” :) Too funny. But what’s not funny is the devouring of your vegetable garden! :( That would make me so mad, too. If only you could make a pact with the deer — you’d plant some things just for them, if they would leave the rest of your harvest untouched!

    I do know there’s a spray you can buy, with some sort of pepper in it, and it’s supposed to smell too strong for the deer to want to eat whatever it’s sprayed on. Not sure if you could wash it off, though, so YOU could enjoy it…

    Well, good luck, and I hope you claim those last tomatoes before they do!

  28. I would eat Holy Crap! on principle alone, no matter how it tasted. And sorry about your garden. Those deer can be relentless.

  29. That picture is just priceless! Our deer would wait until everything was just about ready before they would munch them down to the ground. My son planted watermelons and honeydew- those grew nice and fat- until the deer decided they were ripe enough to eat.
    And- I need some of that Holy Crap- a summer of entertaining has done me in….

    • Glad you enjoyed it, Emily…also glad I’m not the only one the deer pick on! The company that makes Holy Crap ships free to Canada and the US! I’m still eating it and still losing weight! Sorry I haven’t been over to visit lately! Wendy

  30. Hmmm….there are just those gardening seasons, which doesn’t help one bit, but am recalling tomato plants taller than I’d ever had, except that this made them tall enough for the squirrels to notice as well. Not one tomato. Nada.
    Really? Holy Crap? ohhh…I may have to look for some Holy Crap, which is funny because I’m generally a crap magnet.
    Regards,
    Leslie

  31. Hey Wendy Girl … so glad the Holy Crap is working for you; who would brand something with that moniker? Hope you are all good x iz

  32. Pingback: Smiles, Soup, Santa and Silliness… | Herding Cats in Hammond River

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