1. The “Miss Malaprop” Award. Winner: Hope. Last week, we were having supper, and Jim mentioned that he was having trouble with his sinuses again. Hope offered to let him use her “nozzle spray” (Jim finally saw the specialist today – he needs surgery to scoop the stuff out of his sinuses and fix his deviated septum).
2. The “Sadistic Parents” Award. Winners: Mr. and Mrs. Dull. This week, I evaluated a book called A Battle History of The Imperial Japanese Navy (1941-1945). It was written by a guy named Paul S. Dull. Unless his middle name is something like “Sigmund,” I would probably be using that one rather than “Paul” (especially since he’s an academic!).
3. The “Blonde Moment” Award. Winner: Mia Michaels, So You Think You Can Dance judge. Last night, Adichiké did a big jump during a duet with Kent. Mia said he looked like a “giselle.” Both Nigel and Adam quickly corrected her.
4. The “Most Moving Choreography Ever” Award. Winner: Travis Wall, choreographer on So You Think You Can Dance. Last night, Robert and Allison danced a piece to Coldplay‘s “Fix You” depicting Travis and his mother, Denise, who was facing major surgery. My mom was chronically ill for the last 23 years of her life…I was bawling so hard, I was literally wailing.
5. The “Most Birds on a Feeder” Award. Winner: The goldfinches in our back yard. We have had as many as seven at once on the finch feeder. Second place: The blue jays. Their record is four (but they don’t play very well together).
6. The “Worst Title for a Kids Book” Award. Winner: Felicity Hayle. This British author titled her 1958 children’s story “Our Brother Nick and the Tattooed Gardener.”
7. The “Yummiest Veggies” Award. Winner: the first green/yellow/purple beans of the season from our garden. We had them tonight with BBQ chicken and veggie burgers…yummy!
8. The “Shortest Career” Award. Winner: Hope. She announced on Tuesday that she was going to be the “Mommy” that day. She did laundry (minor glitch with putting laundry detergent in the fabric softener dispenser, but we figured it out – not easy over the phone) and cooked supper (macaroni and cheese, peas). When asked after supper if she still wanted to be the “Mommy,” Hope said, “Meh.”
9. The “Multiplying Sock” Award. Winner: Our family. With seven people, we have enough socks to fill a small room. None of them are ever together with their mates. I hate matching them, and the girls seem incapable of wearing socks the same colour at the same time.
10. The “Mind-Reading” Award. Winner: Jim’s mom. Hope asked at supper last night if Grammy was having a birthday party for Jim and I. Less than two minutes later, the phone rang – the party is Wednesday night.