2. Own a Hummer. Seriously, who needs one of these to go to the grocery store? My order for seven people fits just fine into our Dodge Caravan (and my family eats a lot!). I might change my mind if I’m ever travelling across the desert in a war zone (which is another thing I wouldn’t do for all the tea in China).
3. Skydive (ditto on bungee-jumping). I’m not afraid of dying…I’m afraid of not dying if something goes wrong! A friend of mine was injured in a bad military parachuting accident – it wrecked his back, hips, and both his legs – immediate medical discharge (and several years later, a hip replacement!). Bungee-jumping? Please – I get dizzy on the third step of a ladder!
4. Drink more than two glasses of wine in one sitting. I dislike being (or feeling) out of control, so I never get drunk – have only been drunk once in my life, and have never done it again because I didn’t like it. I also dislike vomiting!
5. Treat pets like people. Don’t get me wrong…I love my dog. But he will never have his own room or his own furniture, and I will never feed him anything but dog food, Snausages, and the occasional bone. I also refuse to talk to him in anything but a normal tone of voice (no baby talk).
6. Stay up past midnight (ditto on sleeping until noon). I have stayed up late a few times, but have always spent most of the following day stifling yawns and trying to keep from nodding off at my desk. I generally like to be in bed sometime between 10 and 11 (which makes sense when one gets up at 5:30 a.m.). As far as sleeping in, nine is late for me…
7. Clean fish or game. I love fresh fish, but if I’m going to cook it, I definitely don’t want something that’s looking back at me. The head and the guts have to be gone! I really like moose meat, but bring it to me once the butcher’s done with it!
8. Take a job as a day care worker. Again, I like kids (I have them), but if I had to look after someone else’s all day long, there would be issues (likely mental ones for me)! That job is best left up to the professionals!
9. Brag about my latest purchase at the mall. Given that I usually have to be coerced to go there because I hate the mall, and that the only stuff I buy there are generally things one of my children absolutely “had to” have, I don’t have anything to brag about. I’m more likely to tell you about the apple peeler I scooped up at a yard sale for $3!
10. Dye my hair purple (ditto on body piercings and tattoos). I’m not a confident enough person to want everybody staring at me (I worry about having broccoli stuck in my teeth). My hair is coloured regularly by my amazing hairdresser, Heather, who covers up the ever-increasing grey, and uses “wild” colours like blonde, caramel, and cinnamon with foils to jazz up my natural light brown locks. I waited until I was 22 to get my ears pierced, and will never put any more holes in my body (not on purpose anyway). My oldest daughter has a tattoo in memory of my mom, which the tattoo artist messed up, and Kaylee is not happy about. Anna wants a tattoo for her birthday…her design features the breast cancer ribbon (a cause close to all our family’s hearts). I’m still not crazy about her putting something permanent on her body though.
11. Be a politician. I would never make it. I hate “kissing ass” and I often speak without thinking first. I hate long meetings, and listening to people who love the sound of their own voices. I am also incapable of lying, which seems to be a job requirement for most politicians these days (no offense to my friends who are politicians – you wouldn’t be my friends if you were liars!).
12. Wear fur (ditto on leather pants). I personally find the idea of killing an animal just for its fur disgusting (not a problem if the whole animal is used, as it is in the North) – it also messes with the food chain. Fur is way out of my limited budget. I’ll never wear leather pants because I would look stupid in them, not to mention being extremely uncomfortable!
What wouldn’t you do for all the tea in China?