How are you? I am fine (except for that anxiety I have every time Mommy or Daddy are out of my sight…maybe you could put some doggy Paxil in my stocking?).
Mommy’s been upstairs a lot the last couple of days…I think she might be sick. I could fit a lot of Milk Bones into the bags she’s got under her eyes (I’m kinda sick of Milk Bones, though)! Mommy’s cranky too…she moans every time she has to get up to let me outside…sometimes she says bad words too! Come to think of it, I’m mad at her…her coughing is keeping me awake at night! After three days without a shower, she’s starting to smell a bit too…
I’ve been a very good boy this year, except for that unfortunate incident with Mommy’s friend from Ontario this summer…I suppose I wasn’t very nice to him! Oh, yeah… I messed up Mommy’s plants a few times, ate her bread, and pooped in the back kitchen every day, but you probably know all that!
The chimney guy was here a few weeks ago, so you shouldn’t get too dirty on your slide down…I tried to scare him away, but he wouldn’t go!
Here’s what I want for Christmas:
1. Another bone like Daddy brought me home from his staff Christmas party at Montana’s…it was so big, I think it must have come from an elephant!
2. Some slower squirrels…I want to play with them, but when I run out on the deck and bark at them, they all run away!
3. Snausages…my favourites are the cheesy ones! And the bacon ones. And the chicken ones. Just bring me a bag of each!
4. A new Frisbee…mine’s full of slobber and teethmarks!
5. A new sweater. How am I ever going to be featured in Dogs in Canada wearing clothes like this?
6. Please ask Hope to sew up the hole in my baby so I can play with it again. I don’t even mind that it’s a stuffed cat! Shaking my baby violently from side to side is the highlight of my day…what cat wouldn’t love that? Maybe after the hole is fixed, Mommy could throw her in the washer.
7. Please make Kaylee and Scott forget that Thing when they come on Christmas. Seriously, when they were here for the Christmas photo, it spent the whole time chewing on its furry sleeve! Oh, wait…I lick my favourite furry parts, too…never mind!
8. Please bring Daddy a new jockstrap so that when he comes home, I won’t hurt him when I jump up to say “Hi!” It’s probably a good thing I only weigh 15 lbs. (and that Daddy’s not planning on having any more children!).
9. I’d really like it if Grammy and Grampy would come over for Christmas (I can’t go to their house because I don’t like riding in the car…please send that Paxil soon!). Grampy always has treats in his pocket for me!
10. Please send doggy kisses to all of Mommy’s blogging friends and wish them happy holidays for us (oh, and maybe a paper towel, for afterward)!