Ten Reasons I Should Have Been Invited to the Royal Wedding…

A grave error has occurred.  I didn’t receive my invitation to the Royal Wedding…I can’t imagine what must have happened to it!

Here’s why I should have been invited:

1. I have royal blood (sort of).  One of my earliest documented ancestors on my mother’s side, Ralph of Kingsley (his first name was actually spelled differently in Old English), was a deerkeeper for the British Royal Family in the 12th century.  Now I try to keep the deer out instead of in!

"I don't know Doris...I might not be able to make it over that fence!" (photo by Anna)

2. I have a lot of pictures of Prince William’s grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II.  I collected stamps from the age of 9…the Queen is featured on stamps from not only Great Britain and Canada, but also dozens of other countries (those Brits get around!).  I wish I had more pictures of her on money though…

3. I love British comedy.  I grew up watching Monty Python, Fawlty Towers (I do a wicked Sybil impression: “BASIL! BASIL!”), and The Two Ronnies.  My Grandad was a Benny Hill fan.  Today I love Mr. Bean and The IT CrowdThe Full Monty is still one of my favourite movies.

4. I’m a big fan of Elton John.  I’ve loved his music since the early 70s…his song, Levon, is one of my all-time top ten favourite songs.

The first Elton John album I bought...Captain Fantastic (photo from woostercollective.com)

5. I used to wear hats.  I had a lot of hats in the late 70s and early 80s, before I became aware that I looked stupid in them.

6. I once saved the Prince’s mother from a nasty concussion.  As a young Broadcast Journalism intern, I covered Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s visit to Ottawa in the summer of 1983.  My news director sent me out to try to get some tape of the Princess on her walkabout.  I’d never used a boom mike before, and it was swinging rather close to Diana’s head as I struggled to control it in the wind.  When the RCMP officer smacked the mike away, I didn’t try again!

Me as a young Broadcast Journalism student...do I look like the type of girl who would purposely try to decapitate a princess?

7. I laugh at Prince Charles’ jokes.  On the same tour of Ottawa, I was pleasantly surprised by how witty the Prince was…I wish I could remember the amusing anecdote he told as he addressed the throngs of people assembled to see him and his wife.

8. My daughter was also nicknamed “Wombat.” Apparently, Prince William’s parents called him by this affectionate nickname…my daughter, Kaylee, is four years younger than William, and I used to refer to her as “wombat” too.

My "Wombat" with her "Wombat"...(photo by Scott)

9. I make an awesome shepherd’s pie.  The kids beg me to make it for them, even though I’m the world’s slowest potato peeler…hamburger, onions, mashed potatoes, creamed corn…yummy!

10. I love tea.  I start every morning with a “cuppa”, and on weekends, might drink 4 or 5 cups a day.   I like mine with one milk, two sugar (which is probably sweeter than a proper Brit would like).  I am also partial to ice tea, which I drink in the summer time.

I’m sorry to have missed your wedding, Your Highnesses, but Hope has it on the PVR for when I get home tonight…Best wishes for a long and happy life together!


Filed under satire

67 responses to “Ten Reasons I Should Have Been Invited to the Royal Wedding…

  1. I am appalled at his huge oversight…I hope they make it up to you.

  2. As I watched the wedding, I noticed Elton John. I thought, I would love to sing a hymn with Elton by my side. How cool that would be.

    I love the bolo you are wearing in the picture!

    This was fun, Wendy. Thank you.

  3. Oh, I wish you would have been there, too, Wendy. It would have been nice to get the “real” play-by-play.

  4. You were clearly snubbed! I bet you would have found the perfect hat and not everyone can laugh easily at Prince Charles jokes!

    Facebook friends from Australia to Chicago and in between woke up with me at 3:30 am and over various and sundry English treats or left over Easter Candy we watched and commented the morning away…the comments are at about 75o and that is just one of the threads we started….it is driving the men folk crazy which just adds to the fun. They wonder how long we can discuss hats and gowns…a very long time.

    Loving every single moment.

  5. You look EXACTLY like the type who would try to take out a princess! That–or a horrible oversight on the Windsor’s part!

  6. P.S> on the potato-peeling thing: I recently read that all of the fiber is in the peel of the potato so now I just leave the peels on, such as for my ‘pink’ potato salad for Easter, with baby golden yukons, it’s fine and solves the problem of all of that scraping and peeling. Red potatoes look pretty with skin-on, also.

  7. What happended to… “I don’t have ANY interest in that!”
    Get your thoughts straight!
    Love, Your favourite Daughter, Hope ❤

  8. Well as I am a displaced/misplaced English woman living on the other side of the world I can only assume (Ass and Me) that the invitation got lost in the mail. But the PM and his wife and William’s Equerry on his visit here received theirs.
    Anyway, a bit strapped for cash at the moment so the cost of the airfare, new frock and gift WOULD have caused the Bank Manager to have apoplexy and then I might have been charged with manslaughter or even murder.

  9. You certainly have grounds for being invited to the wedding and I’m actually shocked that you weren’t. There must have been some mishap, a breach in communication. Indeed, you are owed an apology of no small magnitude and I for one, will boycott watching any more video of the royal couple until you receive said apology, hopefully it comes with a very generous gift or, at the very least, a tea pot featuring the Kate & William’s countenances.

  10. No I don’t want any of those thanks. Thanks for the connection to Tom. I love what he has done/is doing with his barn.

  11. I love the Brit humor also- apparently it is completely lost on the Japanese who don’t understand the accent or sarcasm… Which I’ve had to completely abandon with my Japanese friends who look at me blankly when my best sardonic wit is wasted on them. You should have been invited…

  12. Jess Witkins

    You’re right, you definitely missed your invitation. I had fun watching clips from the wedding today. Kate’s dress was gorgeous! I wish the couple the best too!

  13. You would have made a classy addition to the festivities. I’m not sure whether the wedding reception was pot luck or not, but they would have been lucky to get your shepherd’s pie. Or maybe some of your famous marshmallow eggs.

    • Hmmm, Paul…”classy” or “middle-class”…not sure! Thanks, though. I wonder if Jamie Oliver was on the guest list…he probably makes a pretty good shepherd’s pie! Wendy

  14. You should’ve crashed the wedding Wendy. I totally got them back though by not even watching. Now they have to live with zero publicity from eduClaytion. So there you haughty royals.

    • It’s too bad my diamond tiara’s at the cleaners, Clay…I’m sure they’ve got a team of PR people working on containing the fallout from your snub as we speak… Wendy

  15. jacquelincangro

    The nerve of some people. This kind of oversight demands immediate dame-hood as a small token of their remorse. Sheesh. Those royals.

    PS I love the photo of journalism student Wendy.

  16. izziedarling

    Oh Wendy, when they realize what they’ve done, I’m sure Wills and Kate will make you the Godmother of their first born. Cheers! x iz

  17. Now that you mention it, I didn’t receive an invitation either. Ah well, we won ‘t have to worry about picking out the perfect gift.

  18. But can you make a McVitie’s cake?

    PS: I’m very impressed at your brush with Diana and Charles.

  19. Oh this was great fun! And I don’t know about you, but “sharing” the experience of the Royal Wedding with so many friends – near and far – in person and cyber (blogging) friends – was just a delight.

    Cheers! MJ

  20. Wendy! Or should I say, Lady Wendy,
    Fun post, as always. You had me at “I have royal blood.” I love the way you look at the world. And more, I love the way you look in that broadcast picture! Too sweet for words. So glad you shared it.

  21. I’d have put you as a fellow journalist, Wendy! Your writing betrays you nicely. I’m right there with you, sharing a “cuppa” every morning and before I go to bed (decaf, then!). Several years ago, I dropped the milk but I still lace it with sugar. Bottoms up!

    • Thanks, Debbie! I don’t usually have tea before I go to bed…I find it gives me weird dreams! My current favourite tea blend is “Ceylon Special” and I don’t usually put milk in it (lots of sugar though!)… Wendy

  22. One milk, two sugar is the recipe for the perfect cup of tea in my opinion 🙂

    I adore British TV (though I may be a little biased) – BlackAdder and One Foot in the Grave are all-time favourites!

  23. From one Anglophile to another…I feel for you!!

    Such an enjoyable post Wendy! And you are so the ‘Lady’ in that picture 🙂 Would love to hear your views on the hats at the wedding. Some of the new-fangled ones were downright ridiculous, especially on Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie! Rupert Everett (love him), agreed with me! I enjoyed the wedding and it made me tear up a few times quite unexpectedly. I guess happiness does that to people and they seem so happy and in love…I do hope it’s the real deal.

    I’m a huge Charles fan. I thought he paled as Diana’s star shone brighter, but I’ve always thought him very funny and a great Dad. I’m a huge fan of Brit TV too…did you watch To the Manor Born? I loved that one! And of course…I adore Dame Agatha and Hercule Poirot…damn why wasn’t I invited?!! Must have been the ‘tea’ thing – can’t drink it to save my life 😛

    Hugs, H.

    • I still haven’t had a chance to watch it yet, Harsha…I hope to be able to catch it tonight while I fold laundry…I saw some still photos online of the royal couple. Loved the red jacket with the blue sash on William! I read most of Agatha Christie’s books in my late teens…really enjoyed M. Poirot! I don’t remember “To The Manor Born.” They used to replay old BBC comedies on the American Public Broadcasting System channels when I was growing up. Hugs, Wendy

  24. I love the story about you as a young broadcast journalist. Did Diana ever notice you trying to bean her with a boom? Darn RCMPs always take the fun out of an engagement. 🙂

    So how shall we refer to you now? Lady or Duchess?

    • Thanks, Ian…I’m sure Diana was oblivious to my efforts! I used to hate the RCMP officers on Parliament Hill…that same summer, there were two guys from Greenpeace who had climbed the Peace Tower to protest the Cruise Missile testing in Alberta. RCMP officers hauled them down, and then wouldn’t let reporters anywhere near them for a story! AARGGH! My friend, Jacquelin, thinks I should be made “Dame Wendy”, which I think is more fitting than “Lady” or “Duchess” (they’re far too girly-girl for me!)… Wendy

  25. You definitely would have classed the whole event up!

  26. thejaggedman

    Loved the post and I am sorry about the snub. I have not a thing in common with the royal family but I did see Elton John in July of 1976, Kiki Dee was with him, and to this day it was the best concert I have seen ( My favorite song is Daniel but Levon is also awesome).Oh, I make a pretty mean cottage pie, love Benny Hill and Fawlty Towers and once saved a deer from a fence but I despise ugly hats!

    • Sounds like you should have been there too, JM! I would love to see Elton John live…he played in Saint John a couple of years ago, but I wasn’t able to get tickets. Daniel is a great song too…Rocket Man is another favourite! Thanks for reading… Wendy

      • thejaggedman

        My wife reminded me we do have a connection to the Royal Family: We own a Pembroke Welsh Corgi! He is the best looking Corgi I have ever seen but has the manners of a fourteen year old boy!

      • Corgis are awfully cute, JM…I’m sure your dog isn’t any worse than our Jake! Wendy

  27. nancy

    Loved it! Have spent the week on the couch with a virus watching documentaries and docudramas of William, etc. Thank Heaven I could record the 6-hour wedding epic. Fast forwarded thru all the sameyness, but loved the who’s who and royal connections–and the HATS!

    Tea – 2 sugars and 2 creams – thank you very much!

    • Glad you liked it, Nancy…welcome back! I missed you! I hope you’re feeling better soon! I still haven’t had a chance to watch the wedding yet…perhaps this evening while I’m folding laundry… Love, Wendy

  28. This is hilarious! I don’t know how I missed it! Another reason you should have gone? Well, you are The Queen? No? 😉 That’s what Clay told me.

    • Oh crap! You mean I look like an 85-year-old woman, Rene? One of my other commenters appointed me “Dame”…that’s fitting, I guess… Glad you liked the post! Wendy

  29. Enjoyed this post! I didn’t get invited either, and I lived in England and acted like a loyal subject–even though I’m American, England is my “adopted” country and runs a close second to my own.

    Loved the picture of you as a young broadcast journalist.

  30. ~~This was absolutely superb…. Yes, You should have been invited to the wedding … or at least the Disco party. Damn shame. I hear Charles is very funny….I was surprised to hear about that. xxXX

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