Tag Archives: deviated septum

A Love Letter, Teenage Talent, and a Zombie Baby…

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon…Jim and the kids have gone to buy tires for the Corolla and have lunch at my least favourite fast food restaurant (I’ll give you a hint – its spokesperson is a clown with a rhyming name).  I wish they had taken Jake with them…he’s driving me crazy…wants to go out on the deck and chase the chipmunks and squirrels!  I’ve got a Hannah Georgas concert playing on the computer while I work (thank you CBC Concerts on Demand).  The second of three loads of laundry is spinning in the dryer…I’m saving a fortune on dryer sheets!  I bought a couple of those dryer balls at the dollar store, and they actually work!

One of the best dollars I ever spent...dryer balls!

The ear, nose and throat specialist called on Monday with the date for Jim’s sinus surgery: November 10th.  He’s having his deviated septum fixed, and they’re scooping stuff out of his sinus cavity.  I’m glad we’ve finally got the date: Jim’s been off work most of the week with another sinus infection…he regaled me this morning with a description of the secretions he’s harbouring.  Thanks, honey…I really didn’t want to eat lunch today!

Tuesday night was Dad’s chorus rehearsal night, and I was looking for something easy to make for supper…I had gotten turkey bacon on sale the day before, and had bagels in the fridge.  I cooked the bacon, sliced and toasted the bagels, spread them with peanut butter (both sides), put a couple of slices of bacon on, and top them with the other bagel slice.  Jim refuses to eat them (he ate his leftover jambalaya, which was good, but my wimpy intestine did not agree).  However, the girls and I love my bagel/bacon sandwiches!  Try it…you’ll like it!

On Wednesday, I wandered uptown to get some money from the banking machine…I saw one of my male friends pushing his daughter down the sidewalk in her umbrella stroller.  He was doing the “Daddy Push” as I call it…you know the one: one hand on the handle, walking beside it like, “This kid isn’t really mine.  I was just walking down the street and my hand caught on this stroller handle…”  In my head, I know it’s because umbrella strollers are poorly designed for tall people, but I can’t help thinking that there’s more to it when I see a man pushing a stroller that way…like it’s not cool to be a dad or something!

As many of you know, Thursday was the one-week anniversary of my blog being “Freshly Pressed” for the second time.  I had what I thought was an amazing idea…why not do a funny piece about the roller coaster ride that being FP’d is?  Unfortunately, my regular readers thought I was upset, and went about trying to console me!  So, here is a love letter to all my “peeps”:

Dear Fans of Herding Cats (you know who you are):

I would just like to thank you for taking the time out of your day to visit  Hammond River and the ramblings of my brain.  Your compliments and encouragement (and even your criticisms!) are always much appreciated!  I have been fortunate to be in the company of some truly talented writers, all of whom I consider friends, even though we’ve never met (please take the time to check them out on my Blogroll – He Said/She Said).  To my family and “touchable” friends, I love that you care about me enough to read what I write – it means a lot!

I will continue to write Herding Cats in Hammond River as long as we’re both enjoying it!  Thanks again!

Love,

Wendy

P.S. Really…I’m FINE (and I wasn’t “harbouring small rodents in my eyebrows”)! WM      

Last night, Hope and her friend, Gabrielle, were signed up to participate in an Open Mic Night for kids aged 8 to 15.  Jim, Anna and I went to the Coffee Mill in Lancaster Mall for supper before the show (Hope was at Gabrielle’s and would meet us at the show).  Their average customer keeps his teeth in a glass beside the bed and gets a pension cheque once a month, so we missed the rush by arriving at 5:20.   They make the best Philly Cheese Steak sandwich at the Coffee Mill, and their fries are awesome too!  Jim had the roast turkey dinner, and Anna went for the chicken burger platter and chocolate milkshake.  Yummy! 

We got to the venue for the show, paid our $5 admission and took a seat in a large room where about a dozen teenage boys seemed to be making preparations for the show.  Jim and Anna got their cameras out…Jim was taking still shots, and Anna was doing a video of Hope’s performance.  We waited, and waited, and waited.  Finally at 6:50 (20 minutes after the show was supposed to start), the director came to the microphone and introduced the first act: a kid about 12 who played a trumpet solo…not bad! 

Then the director called Hope and Gabrielle onstage.  We chatted amongst ourselves while technical difficulties with Hope’s CD were being sorted out.  No luck!  It was decided to bring up another act and try again later.  An 11-year-old came up and told an improvised story which only he and his relatives found amusing…please sit down, you obnoxious child! (I thought – I don’t think I said it out loud).  Then, Take 2 of the Hope and Gabrielle duet of “Bulletproof” by La Roux.  The informal tech crew was able to get the CD to play on some kid’s laptop.  The girls did a good job, although Hope kept glancing nervously around behind her at the laptop…her fears were realized when the CD crapped out in the middle of the song.  The girls stopped singing, we applauded, and the show went on.

Gabrielle and Hope in their "Bulletproof" vests...

After a performance by two cute 8-year-old girls who played violin, and then sang a Taylor Swift song badly, the next act came on: A trio of teenagers called All About Appearance.  The lead singer was a Justin Bieber lookalike who could sing and play guitar.  His sidekicks were a male guitarist, and a female drummer.  They were good, and sang three songs.  After that, the show went downhill.  We stuck around hoping it would get better…it didn’t!  Two brothers tortured us with an “experimental” techno song played on a synthesizer keyboard…it lasted an interminable six minutes  (it was at that point that my dad decided he’d had enough, and made for the door). 

The next band was four young teenage boys who were enthusiastic, and could play their instruments, but the lead singer couldn’t sing, and the other guitar player left the stage every two minutes to throw up (the lead singer felt the need to tell us that).  After four deafening “songs” punctuated with heavy drumming, we made our escape!  I’ve always frowned on parents leaving a show right after their child had performed, but I knew that if I didn’t get out of there, I might lose my mind!  I’m all for encouraging young talent, but I believe that some organization and some minimum standards for shows are necessary!

We dropped Hope off at her friend’s sleepover/birthday party on the way home…better late than never!

When we got home, I opened up Facebook to find that my daughter Kaylee’s profile picture had changed:

Zombie Baby...yikes!

I was not amused that someone with far too much time on her hands had turned my sweet “Puddin Pop” into a zombie baby…

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Filed under blogging, cooking, family, food, music

Excuse Me, Sir, But Your Search Engine Has Run Amok…

This is another assignment set by my friend over at Hippie Cahier…she suggested we write a post about search terms people use to find our blog.  Since I’ve been thinking about doing this already, now is as good a time as any…

1. transistor radio.  This now obsolete device was mentioned in exactly one blog post about waiting for a hurricane, and 31 nostalgic people found my blog because of it.

2. Mia Michaels.  Nine people with nothing better to do were searching for info on this ditzy dance diva, who appeared in this post because she used entirely the wrong word to describe a dancer’s performance on So You Think You Can Dance.  Mia’s catty claws were out last season…a lot of her comments were nasty and unwarranted!  Please bring back Mary Murphy (believe me…I never thought I would say that!).

Mary...we want you back!

3. how were readers digest condensed booksTwo poor souls typed this into a search engine.  Hmmm…how were they?  Heavy.  Expensive.  Good fire starters or doorstops.  The boxes they came in are handy for mailing other books though…

4. price to put cat to sleep saint john, nb.  This one mystifies me…yes, my blog is called Herding Cats in Hammond River, which is near Saint John, but it really has nothing to do with cats, and I don’t remember ever talking about putting a cat to sleep in any of my posts.  I have no idea how much that costs, and I don’t want to know.  And yet, two people found my blog this way…go figure!

5. the dog eat my homework.  This search had to have been typed by someone whose first language was something other than English (at least I hope so).  It got me two hits on this post about my Schnoover (Schnauzer/Poodle/Hoover) who eats everything in sight, including things not normally consumed.

Jake's favourite things to eat...

6. sock pile.  How bored does one have to be to Google “sock pile”…twice???  I wish I had their phone number so I could invite them over to sort them…they obviously have more time than I do…

7. deviated septum how to fix ontario.  I talked about Jim’s deviated septum in this post.  I have never tackled the issue of “how to fix Ontario.”  I don’t live there any more for a reason…

8. tapioca cheese steak like made in school.  That lunch lady needs to be fired…if she’s putting tapioca in the cheese steak, she’s doing it all wrong!  I don’t remember them ever serving cheese steak of any sort in our school cafeteria…tube steak, yes!

Hold the tapioca please...

 9. dirty girl sneaker.  Okay…this is just wrong.  I write an innocent story about a family trip to Hopewell Rocks, and this is how they find it?

10. muddy kids.  See #9.  Ditto.

11. blue jay cheerleading.  I’ve written about blue jays, and I’ve written about cheerleading, but I’ve never seen a blue jay cheerleading (it’s tough for them to find spankies small enough to fit).  Maybe some poor sap hoped that major league baseball games have cheerleaders now?  Not happening…

12. huge bean pod.  This person wasn’t just looking for any bean pod…it had to be a huge one!  Apparently, size does matter!

P.S. Did you notice how I put all the terms into the tags, so people could find them again?  Never let it be said that I’m not Internet-savvy…

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Filed under blogging, rants, satire