Gentlemen…Start Your Search Engines…

Last fall, I did a fun post about the search terms people had used to find my blog.  Six months later, I found myself facing an empty screen, so decided to put together another one (note to Ironic Mom and her “Tangled” accomplice – I am purposely leaving out search bombs)!

Technically-Challenged Searchers

use Plunger.  I sincerely hope this person’s toilet wasn’t overflowing while he stopped to Google what most people instinctively know.  That might be difficult to explain to the insurance company!

"Gee, which end should I use?" (photo from plumbinghelp.ca)

easiest roller coaster out of sticks.  Generally, I try to avoid amusement parks.  When I do get dragged to one by my teenagers, we have a rule that no one is allowed to ride the roller coaster made of sticks (at least not without a helmet!).

letter p blackberry fell off.  It is terribly inconvenient when my “p” falls off!  It really ‘isses me off!

Consumer Searchers

what kind of watch does jack carter from eureka wear.  A sexy one, of course.  It would also have all the latest gadgets.

Jack Carter with his sexy watch (photo from wormholeriders.net)

high school music hall pom pom girl wallpaper.  Bad news, ma’am…wallpaper is getting very difficult to find, and high school music hall pom pom girl wallpaper has to be special-ordered from Texas.

cast iron giraffe toilet paper holder.  A regular plastic spindle just will not do.  And it can’t be a rhinocerous either.

macho en calzones. This poor person was looking for men’s underwear…he was probably really surprised to be directed to a post about deer challenging electric fences and pizza pockets!

Spelling-Challenged Searchers

mr. been.  I assume this person meant Mr. Bean, who isn’t a has-been yet.  They still show his specials on CBC all the time.

Mr. Bean...still funny after all these years (photo from slidephoneblog.blogspot.com)

pumpkinks attack.  That sounds scary, and twisted, all at the same time!  This isn’t that kind of blog!

fune catsin wedes.  This is a head-scratcher: my blog is fun, I have the word “cats” in the title, and I have talked about “weeds” occasionally in gardening posts…any other guesses?

Food Searchers

garlic and brown sugar cheese ball.  This misguided soul obviously didn’t get the memo about cheese balls not being served at parties held after 1980…I was horrified to discover that an actual recipe exists for this abomination.  It is not on my site, and never will be!

define chicken heart.  Okay, bud…put down the plunger, and think really hard!

This is not a chicken heart...(photo from southviewfarmcottage.co.uk)

Medical Searchers

flatulence in 10 year old boy.  I can’t help you with that.  I only know about farting teenagers, and 48-year-old men who spend a lot of time “reading magazines”.

does zumba work make your legs chunky.  It’s possible.  My legs are definitely chunky after that one time I tried Zumba.  And it wasn’t “work”…it was torture!  I’ll never do that again!

Animal Searchers

chinese sturgeon.  Another disappointed Googler…we visited the aquarium in St. Andrews where we saw sturgeon of the North American variety, and had Chinese food on the way home (nobody opted for fish).

the monkees with cats.  Did The Monkees own cats?  I don’t know.  I talked about them once (the musical group), but the discussion was about Mike Nesmith’s mom and her invention of Liquid Paper.

Does Mickey have a cat under his poncho? (photo from 8notes.com)

wet tail.  What was this hapless searcher looking for?  Whatever it was, I don’t think he found it on my blog.

Searchers With Too Much Time On Their Hands

welcome sing to my room.  I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest this person may not have had English as his first language.

taylor swift just a zombie baby.  I wouldn’t go that far…she’s actually not a bad singer!

Not very zombie-like at all...(photo from theimproper.com)

“my holy pants”.  I have never been a religious person.  However, I do have a pair of pants which are not fit to wear in public, but too good to throw out.  I tend to wear them around the house on Sundays…hence “my holy pants.”

What are some of the strange terms people have found your blog with?

Still Learning in 2010…

Taking the lead from my blogging friends, Todd Pack, Izzie Darling, and Lady Justine, here’s a list of the things I learned this year…if you want to read the full story on any of these lessons, search a keyword or click the appropriate tag in the sidebar:

1. Our dog thinks porcupine poop is dessert.

2. Hope loves Jake enough to share her toothbrush with him.

3. Homemade rolls don’t have to be “pretty” to taste good.

4. Egg cartons are not good containers to start plants indoors in.

5. Dogs love to destroy egg cartons with seedlings in them.

6. Jim’s parents are our biggest supporters.

7. Bleachers are hard things to sit on for more than a couple of hours.

8. I am really out of shape.

9. Seeing a toy from your childhood 40 years later brings you right back to that time in your life.

10. If the winter is mild enough, spinach from last year can survive.

11. Maple vinaigrette makes spinach salad a beautiful thing!

12. There’s no such thing as “too many bird feeders.”

13. Squirrels can do amazing tricks to get to a bird feeder.

14. Some people keep their toilet paper in the breadbox.

15. Mothers-in-law are often right.

16. More people in Saint John knew when the new Costco was opening than were aware of the city’s 225th birthday this year.

17. Rhubarb runs amok if left to grow unchecked.

18. Orthodontists make more per hour than most of us.

19. Sometimes plants get a lot bigger than the seed package says they will…my five-foot sunflowers ended up being seven or eight feet tall!

20. I like portobello mushroom/swiss veggie burgers.

21. Our dog enjoys eating Popsicle sticks.

22. Cosmopolitan was a literary magazine back in the early 1900’s.

23. There is only one kind of hummingbird which frequents New Brunswick: the Ruby-Throated Hummingbird.

24. I love Mint Crisp M&M’s.

25. I learned what a “fisher” was, after seeing one cross the road in front of our car.

26. Before you construct a really big birdhouse, figure out where you’re going to put it and how to get it up there!

27. My dad’s a good singer, and I’m not the only one who thinks so!

28. They sell live ladybugs at Home Depot.

29. Right after you purchase twenty tomato plants, the forty you started from seed will rally.

30. Ladybugs aren’t always red with black spots…sometimes they’re brown with cream spots.

31. As long as they’re under warranty, Vogue Optical will replace glasses which have been chewed by a dog!

32. We have a cherry tree, and eight high-bush blueberries I’d never noticed before.

33. “Beaver Tails” are too expensive to buy now.

34. Hope really likes getting muddy.

35. Wallpaper is nearly impossible to find.

36. Hummingbirds are fearless.

37. The Chinese cabbage I planted is not the “head” type.

38. How to make good piecrust…the secret is lard.

39. Some people will ignore a sign that says: “Danger – Do Not Touch.”

40. Deer can be aggressive.

41. Organic broccoli often goes to seed faster than I can harvest it.

42. I love rutabaga!

43. I found out what “purslane” looks like.

44. It’s never a good idea to put a chicken burger into a toaster.

45. I don’t hate all sci-fi…I enjoy “Eureka.”

46. You can purchase a sailboat on the Internet.

47. Ripe canteloupe is not a good lunchbox food.

48. Picking things from the garden in the dark is really difficult.

49. I suck at “Musical Chairs.”

50. The blogging community is full of incredible people…I am so happy to have made their online acquaintances!

I’m looking forward to learning more in 2011!

Sunday, Seals, Siamese Twins and Sci-Fi…

On Friday night, Hope had a friend come over for a sleepover…as kids do, Hope stood gazing into the freezer, looking for “something to eat” as every child does.  “Are those waffles?” she asked.  Vaguely remembering buying waffles a couple of months ago, I answered, “Umm-hmm…” without looking up from my computer screen (as every blogging mom does).  “You and Gabrielle could have those for breakfast tomorrow morning.”

Fast forward to Sunday morning (Gabrielle was long-gone):  I came down from having my shower to hear a fabulous story about Hope putting a chicken burger into the toaster!  She was fooled by the woven pattern stamped into the meat.  Note to self – don’t put stuff in the freezer in unmarked plastic bags!

To make the morning even better, Hope and Anna spent the next hour bickering (whipping the dog’s tennis ball at each other until one cried).  It ended after I ordered them each to make a list of ten nice things they could do for their sister, and then do one each day.  The first day, Hope came up with telling Anna, “You dress cool.”  To which Anna replied, “You sing well.”  We’ll see what today brings…

After brunch of (burned) toad-in-the-hole flax bagels (accompanied by more bitching), we went to Superstore to pick up last-minute school lunch makings (stores here are closed on Labour Day).  I vetoed the 24-pack of lunch-sized potato chips…I refuse to pay $3.49 for 120 chips!  Hope was happy to get pear-flavoured applesauce, and yogurt tubes.  Anna got Bear Paws and Vachon snack cakes.  I grabbed some bread, and a pack of bologna and ham for “real food.”

We brought the groceries home, and unloaded them.  We got right back in the van after that…Jim had suggested we visit the Huntsman Marine Science Centre in St. Andrews.  Anna and I had never been, and Jim hadn’t been for at least 10 years.  Hope had been there on a couple of school trips.

On our way, we stopped at McKay’s Blueberries in Pennfield.  The lineup was long, but it was worth the wait.  We watched as people walked by laden with pies, muffins and jams.  Finally, it was our turn:  Hope had a strawberry sundae, Anna had a blueberry sundae, and Jim and I had blueberry shortcake with homemade biscuits.  Everything was covered with real whipped cream!   Awesome deliciousness!  I have to say my mood improved remarkably after that…

We arrived at the Huntsman Centre  about 3:00.  What we didn’t know is that they were in the middle of an $8 million dollar renovation, which meant that the entire aquarium population was housed in temporary facilities while a new building  was being constructed.  We paid our admission in a large tent…the attendant informed us that they would be feeding the seals at 4:00 (we knew that already).  We proceeded to the seal tank, where two harbour seals swam around.  After that, we watched sturgeon and stingrays in another tank.  We made our way to the “main building” where several other marine animals were displayed.  Hope had fun with the “touch tank” where a number of sea animals could be picked up – her favourite was the starfish.  I tried to stay out of the way of the hundreds of strollers (okay, I’m exaggerating – it was probably five).  It was a pretty small space!  We were finished our tour by 3:30.  We went back to the main tent and sat down to wait for seal-feeding time.

Jim took this picture of Hope and a starfish...

This is Hope's photo of a rare blue lobster...

This is Anna's shot of an anemone...

 

We staked out a space beside the fence just before 4.  Finally, two female attendants came out with plastic dishpans filled with herring.  Each had a bright blue rubber glove.  One of the women proceeded to give us background information about the two seals:  They were father and son: Loki was 17 years old, and Snorkel was 5 years old.  The son did tricks (Dad was learning by watching the son).  The attendant explained that the tricks were to help prevent boredom (for the seals).  “We don’t want bored seals!”  The crowd (which was filled with bored toddlers) was getting restless…the woman asked if anyone had any questions.  I listened in amusement as I overheard the young mother next to me tell her 5-year-old to put her hand down: “Just let them feed them!” she hissed, holding her restless 2-year-old.

The attendants started throwing individual fish either into the tank, or up on the sidewalk next to the pool.  Anna, Jim and Hope snapped hundreds of photos as Snorkel performed some cute tricks, including “kissing” the attendant on command (she made a comment about her husband wondering why she smelled like fish when she came home…ewww!).  It was fun to watch – harbour seals are very dog-like in their facial features – they’re called “seadogs.”  In fact, our Saint John hockey team is called the Saint John Seadogs.  Hope was annoyed because she was standing beside a kid who kept yelling, “I want to see their whole body!” over and over again.  After the show was over, the little girl beside me finally got to ask her question…I forget what it was now.  Everybody headed for their cars (except Hope, who headed for the port-a-potties – she loves those – NOT!).

Anna took this picture of Snorkel...

The senior attendant with Snorkel...photo taken by Jim...

A full-body shot of one of the seals...these guys are about 300 lbs...photo by Anna...

This seagull was hanging around hoping for a handout...apparently seagulls are one of seal's menu choices too...

Back in the van, Anna mentioned that she wanted to go into St. Andrews to see if the candy store was open…it had been closed in the spring when we were down in St. Stephen for Brianna’s cheerleading competition (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/adventures-of-a-reluctant-cheer-mom-part-2/).  Kandy Land was open this time…I was happy to find Milk Duds (I’ve never paid $2.29 for a box, though!).  Jim and Anna got surprise bags, and Hope filled a tube with banana-flavoured powdered sugar (it had a name we can’t remember, came from a big machine, and cost $1.99 – it must have been good!).

We hit the highway, bound for Pennfield again.  Jim and his friend, Scott, had discovered a good Chinese restaurant there right next to McKay’s:  It was called (are you ready for this?) Highway’s Good Wok.  I don’t make this stuff up!  We all ate until we were about to burst.  Jim ordered Curried Chicken and Vegetables, and Hope kept edging away…she doesn’t like the smell of curry.  I traded her eggroll for my garlic spareribs – the eggrolls were amazing!  I had chicken chow mein and sweet and sour chicken balls too.  Anna had beef and broccoli, chicken balls, and garlic chicken wings.  Everybody had fried rice, which was also very good – not too greasy.  While Hope and I made a pit stop, Jim and Anna paid the bill and got doggy bags for the rest of their food (Hope and I finished ours!).

We arrived home about 7:30, and I rushed out to the garden to pick tomatoes.  I needed two mixing bowls to hold them all!  The yellow light bulb tomatoes were really starting to come now (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/03/25/blackberry-cobbler-and-light-bulb-tomatoes/) …I even found “regular” tomotoes (I think they were Early Latahs) which had grown as Siamese twins…The beans will have to be picked tonight…there was no light left last night!

Tomato Siamese Twins...photo by Anna...

While a load of laundry went through, Jim and I watched another episode of “Eureka”…despite it being sci-fi, I’m really starting to like that show (not to mention that the star, Colin Ferguson, is Canadian, and very hot!).  It’s been on since 2006, but I’d never seen it until Jim found out about it from Scott.  It is filmed mostly on location in British Columbia.  The writing is pretty sharp, and it’s funny too!

Colin Ferguson in his "Sheriff Jack Carter" uniform...what's not to like?

So that was my last Sunday of the summer…sigh…

Waiting for Earl…

Hurricane (or Tropical Storm, hopefully) Earl is scheduled to arrive here early tomorrow morning, and when he gets here, we’ll be ready…

Having spent my early years in Ohio, I have vivid memories of our whole family sitting under a table in the basement waiting for a tornado.  Dad held the staticky transistor radio in his hand as we listened anxiously to the Tornado Warnings being issued.  I remember seeing the sky outside go black at 3 in the afternoon, and seeing hail as big as baseballs!  Luckily, we were never hit with a tornado, but to this day, I am terrified of windstorms!

This transistor looks like ours...

I was never a Girl Scout, so being “prepared” is a state I’m rarely in.  However, since we’ve had lots of advance warning, we decided to do as much as we could to avert potential disaster at our house.

Last night, Jim and I stopped at the grocery store on the way home – we spent almost $150!  Among the essentials were 8 jugs of water, in case the 40-70mm (1 1/2″ to 2 3/4″) of rain we’re supposed to get messes up our well (again, like it did when we got 90mm last year!).  If the power goes out, we’ll break out the Sugar Smacks or the Alpha-Bits we bought.  We also have 4 bags of chips, and about 10 bottles of pop.  If you’re going to die in a storm, you might as well eat what you like…(I did slip some apples, a cantaloupe and a bag of spinach into the cart, though).

We stopped for gas and ice (to keep the pop cold) on the way home. 

After supper, I went out to the garden while Jim put away the lawn furniture (I saw him doing something with bungee cords – I didn’t ask!).  The kids worked together surprisingly well to take down the trampoline.  I picked all the tomatoes that were ready (I’m up to using a BIG mixing bowl now!), and all the beans.  I picked a Red Kuri squash and a Dakota Dessert Squash.  We now have four huge pumpkins about 18″ in diameter.  I wanted to harvest them, but Dad convinced me that the 90kmh (56mph) winds the weatherman is calling for would not send them hurtling across the field (if you see a piece on the 11 o-clock news tomorrow night about “When Pumpkins Kill,” Dad was wrong!).  I sadly said “Goodbye” to the sunflowers…I suspect they will not survive the wind!  I dragged out the hose and watered everything, as I have every night this week.  I rejected Dad’s offer of help putting the hose away…I find that whenever he “helps” me, it just slows me down…

Attack of the Killer Pumpkin...

When I got inside, it was almost 9, and I was exhausted.  Jim talked me into watching an episode of Modern Family (he has the whole first season downloaded).  I asked to see the one where Phil and Jay fly the remote control airplane together…”I was in a plane crash!” (best line ever, spoken by Phil after Jay flies the plane into his face).  After watching half the first episode of a strange sci-fi series called Eureka, I was ready to crash myself…

Phil recovering from the "plane crash"...

We just have to pick up a couple more things tonight, and then…

Bring on the storm!