Tag Archives: Leonardo DiCaprio

My Rapture To Do List…

Word is that the world is coming to an end tomorrow night at 6 p.m. EDT (which is 7:00 our time…couldn’t it be earlier so I don’t  have to make supper?).  I’ve made a list of things I need to do before then, just in case*:

1. Buy new underwear (sale at Giant Tiger 5/$5 – wonder if they’ll let me buy just one pair?). My mom always told me that when I go somewhere, to be sure I didn’t wear raggy underwear.

2. Finish income tax. Even though I won’t be around to cash the refund cheque, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing I got it done (3 weeks late…whatever!).

3. Water plants. At least they’ll be able to cling to life for an extra couple of days after I’m gone!

4. Bathe the dog. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a crowd with a stinky Schnoodle.

5. Take the recycling to the bins. Maybe the next civilization can figure out what to do with my old shampoo bottles!

6. Cancel the newspaper and magazine subscriptions. After tomorrow, I won’t care what our government is up to, and won’t need to know how to knit a toilet paper cozy.

7. Shave my legs. I don’t know what the styles are like where we’re going, but I’m thinking the “Caveman Look” isn’t going to fly.

8. Finish War and Peace. Oh wait, I already did that…maybe I’ll read it again…

9. Beat my buddy, Mike, at online Scrabble…he wins 85% of the time now and I’m not sure if they have Facebook there.

10. Watch a science fiction movie that Jim likes that doesn’t have a hot guy in it, just so I can say that I did.  Normally, I don’t do science fiction…I’m one of the few people on earth who has never seen any of the Star Wars or Star Trek movies in their entirety!  However, I have been known to make the odd exception for movies like Source Code (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Inception (Leonardo DiCaprio).

What’s on your Rapture To Do List?

* This is a satirical piece written for entertainment purposes.  I do not pretend to be an expert on this subject.  If it offends you, I am sorry that you don’t have a better sense of humour…

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Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!…

I have to preface this post by saying that I’ve never been a very observant person…

I used to watch “Gomer Pyle, USMC” every day after school…I loved it when Gomer said: “Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!”  I’ve had a few surprises this week:

"Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!"

On Monday, I went out to read on the deck…the sun was out, and it was very hot, so I took a lawn chair down under the trees in the back yard.  I looked up and was startled to see loads of beautiful ripe cherries hanging from a tree that I had been saying all this spring I was going to Google to find out what kind it was!  I was like a kid in a candy store.  I ran in the house and got all three girls and brought them outside to show them!  Then I got a bowl and started picking all I could reach (Hope helped for a while, but the other two went back to their laptops).  I got a good-sized bowlful, but could see lots more higher up.  Off I went to the garage in search of a ladder.  There was a big wooden stepladder, but it was behind a bunch of stuff.  Being the lazy sort, I grabbed the small 2-step ladder off the wall.  Setting it up in a level place in the grass under the tree, I mounted the first step. It was at that point that I made my second discovery…my balance at age 49 is shot!  I looked like one of those blowup punching Charlies we used to have when we were kids.  I didn’t fall off the ladder, but that’s because I didn’t venture any higher than the first step (I blamed it on the wind)!  Totally defeated, I put the ladder away and took my bowl of cherries into the house.  “What are you going to do with them?” Jim asked.  “I guess we’ll just eat them,” I said dejectedly.  There weren’t enough to make a pie or anything (and that’s assuming I could make piecrust, which I can’t).  The discovery prompted me to check on the progress of the wild red raspberries beside the back deck…they were ready too…I ate them all!

Cherries...

Last night, Jim and I watched a British sitcom he downloads called “The IT Crowd.”  One of the major characters is getting a massage when something totally unexpected happens…I knew something was going to happen, but never would have suspected that in a million years…the title of the episode is “Something Happened” if you want to find it yourself…be prepared to laugh yourself silly!

The IT Crowd...

Tomorrow is Jim’s 48th birthday.  Anna and Brianna had hatched a plan last night – they wanted me to get Jim out of the house so they could make him a birthday cake with fondant icing – they’d seen a video on how to do it, and wanted to try it.  Today was the day.  I offered to take Jim to see a movie – it was “Reel Deal” day – only $5.99 per ticket.  We decided on “Inception.”  The folks at rottentomatoes.com gave it an 85%, and I’m always in the mood to watch Leonardo DiCaprio (Joseph Gordon Leavitt was in it too – the funny kid from Third Rock From the Sun).  Jim also wanted to show me some of the new furniture he’d been looking at for the living room.

Joseph Gordon Leavitt in a scene from one of my favourite movies...500 Days of Summer...

We were getting ready to go, when Jim looked out the window and noticed that some of the leaves on the flowering crab were kind of yellow.  It has been really dry, so I suggested that perhaps the weather had something to do with it.  I said I’d check them out while I was waiting for him.  “Hmmm…don’t know whether that’s dryness, or some sort of crabapple tree disease…I’ll have to Google this,” I thought.  At that precise moment, I glanced over at the eight bushes lined up beside the crabapple tree…they were covered with berries that looked strangely familiar…one of them was blue!  I yelled at Jim, “No way…these are blueberries!  And not wild ones, either!”  I called him over to see the berries, which were huge.  I’ve never seen high-bush blueberries before, and these would not present a problem to pick without a ladder!  Did I mention I’ve never met a berry I didn’t like?

We got in the van as I babbled excitedly about all the blueberries I would be able to put in the freezer.  I made plans to go and pick blackberries at my favourite secret spot on our next holidays in August (we’ll have some blackberries in our patch beside the rhubarb, but not enough to satisfy my appetite for them).

Blackberries...

We were halfway down the road when I realized I’d forgotten my cell phone.  We were at the theatre when Jim remembered he hadn’t brought his insulin – no chocolate for him!  We got a popcorn to share, and Jim bought a big diet Coke (I never get a drink at the movies – it just makes me have to pee!).  I munched on some Junior Mints too.

Junior Mints..."They're Delicious!"

The movie was okay, although it was very confusing, and there was a lot of violence!  There was no expense spared in production costs for sure!  Jim liked the “science fictiony” aspect of it.  It had good-looking guys, and a couple of laughs, so I was good too.

After the movie, we stopped at a couple of furniture stores.  One saleswoman confided that she’s lost 40 lbs. when she first started working there…maybe I should look into a job selling furniture…

I wasn’t impressed with most of what we saw…it all looked the same to me…I think that’s why I like old stuff, because it’s unique.  I did like a couple of accent chairs.  We didn’t buy anything today.

The couches we saw were boring, like this one...

On the way home, Anna called (on Jim’s phone).  She wanted to know where we were – she said the fondant project had been a “huge fail.”  I mentioned that I had predicted that…

When we got home, Anna put frozen pizza in the oven, and I went out to the garden to gather greens for a salad.  Jim made his famous garlic bread.  When everyone had their fill, the girls brought out the cake…I wish I’d thought to take a picture.  The fondant was green, and covered a two-layer white cake, with buttercream frosting under the fondant.  They had spelled Jim’s name in bubble fondant letters on the top.  Anna told me the fondant had stuck to everything…Brianna’s hands were stained green!  We ate the cake anyway…it was good!

As I was getting ready to hit “publish” for this post, a big earwig crawled up onto my mouse hand.

These guys are all over our house...

Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!

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