Tag Archives: Mercury

Mercury is Messin’ Up My Man Too!…

Wow…two posts in one day…it’s either feast or famine in Hammond River!  This morning, I posted about my messed-up week…I blamed it on Mercury being in retrograde.  I had to tell you about our shopping trip this afternoon.

Anna had arranged to meet her friend in town to look for a dress for Caberet (fancy word for a fancy dance), and do some Christmas shopping.  Hope was spending the weekend at a friend’s house.  We had to drop off Brianna and Devin at their mom’s on the way.  I also wanted to get a photo of a “roadside shoe” we saw yesterday when we took Bri and Dev to school for my friend Maura’s blog.  She has an ongoing feature on orphaned footwear…this was the first one I’d seen since I found out about it.  Of course, I didn’t have a camera in the car!

We left the kids at their mom’s, and drove to the high school.  Of course, the snow plow had come along, and relocated my photo subject…it was nowhere to be found!

We dropped Anna off at an uptown shopping centre, and headed to the east side, where the biggest shopping area is.  Our first stop was Canadian Tire…all their toys were on for 50% off, and there was also a coupon for $15 off if you spent $60 (before taxes)…Gramma wanted to get baby Elise some toys!  When we went to get a cart, an older lady was struggling to separate two carts, which were stuck together.  Jim, being the gentleman he is, offered to help her.  He pulled and pulled to no avail.  Then I reached over, and with two fingers, lifted up the part of the cart that was sticking to the other one…problem solved!  Glad I fixed it before Jim put his back out!

About an hour and two phone calls to Kaylee later, we arrived at the checkout with a cart full of retro toys (Kaylee wants Elise to have the toys she had!)…Jim had also stocked up on windshield washer.  There were only three cashiers open, and about 25 people in line.  The people in front of us were balancing large objects (without carts), and we let them go ahead when another cash opened up.  One guy mentioned that he had forgotten to pick up the windshield washer he came in for when he saw the great price on the shelf unit he was buying.  Jim offered to give him one of the three different kinds of washer we had in our cart (one yellow and two purple!), so he wouldn’t have to go back.  The guy thanked us, and pulled up another cart for us to load our stuff into as we checked out.  I used our coupon, and my Canadian Tire points on my MasterCard, and ended up getting another $30 off my half-price toys and my “on sale” heater.

Then we went to Shoppers Drug Mart…Jim was planning to spend his  Optimum points on some stocking stuffers for the kids.  We had $170 worth of “free money” to play with, so we got a few things for us too.  Cookies and snack crackers were 99 cents…score!  Three boxes of cookies and four of crackers went into the cart.  Toilet paper was on sale for $3.99 for 12 double rolls…I stacked my cart with 4 packs of that (the limit!).  A man asked me if we were expecting a lot of company over the holidays…I told him that we had four teenagers at home (he shook his head in amazement)!  Tampons and Gravol and liquid soap…oh, my!  We filled up the first cart, and Jim went to get a second one.  He and the kids love pop, and it was on sale, 4 2-liter bottles for $5.  Jim loaded four bottles into his cart.  I was keeping careful track of how much stuff we were getting, and let Jim know when we had reached the limit.  We maneuvered our overflowing carts to the busy checkouts…same story as Canadian Tire…too many people and too few clerks!  Finally, it was our turn.  Jim grabbed a bottle of root beer out of his cart, and tried to set it on the counter.  He juggled it, missed, and it hit the floor.  Then the cap came off and the bottle exploded, shooting down the aisle behind us like a rocket, spraying everyone in its path with sticky goodness!  I am not exaggerating when I say it went at least 150 feet, before coming to rest under a display.  Apparently, the two people in front of Jim got the worst of the root beer shower…he apologized profusely (while I escaped to go get another bottle of root beer…you had to buy four to get the sale price, after all!).  Here’s Jim’s account of the incident (stolen from Facebook):  “It fell flat on its side, sat there for 1/4 of a second, blew the lid off and then launched itself past a row of people at the checkout behind us.  It travelled the entire length of an aisle shooting under a display part way down the aisle.  The folks in front of us in, lets call it, the blast zone, were showered up to their waist.  To paraphrase JFK, we choose not to go to the cold and headache display because it is easy, we choose to go there because it is hard.  It’s even harder to go back to that Shoppers for at least a few weeks.”

Jim snapped this photo of the aftermath of the "root beer incident" with his Blackberry...those are my legs and purse at the right...we didn't tell the people in line that I had a blog...

We went to the big mall to pick up Anna…she informed us that she wasn’t finished shopping yet, and wanted to know if we could pick her up later.  I grabbed a few essentials at the grocery store while Jim did some more Christmas shopping, and we headed home.  We were tired and hungry.  After putting our purchases away, I threw a couple of pizzas in the oven for supper.  Jim got some ice out of the freezer and put it in a glass, and went out to get the pop from our “cold storage,” the closet at the top of the basement stairs.  I heard ice cubes hit the floor, and a bad word or two.  Jim had slipped in the entryway and dropped his ice.  At least he didn’t fall!

Anna called an hour later to tell us she was ready to come home.  She didn’t find a dress that fit for the dance, but she did manage to get some other shopping done…I actually got some of my money back!  I’m sure I’ll end up giving it back to her later, though.  We arrived home without further incident.

I wonder what tomorrow has in store for us?


Filed under family, satire, shopping

Mercury is Messin’ This Mother Up…

I found out on Friday that Mercury was in retrograde, according to my friend at Hippie Cahier.  Apparently, this is a bad thing.  I’ve decided to blame everything that’s happened to me this week on that messed-up planet…

1. “Goodbye, Red Meat…I loved you well.”  Kaylee, Scott and Elise came over for supper on Sunday night.  I served a beef and barley stew (with rutabaga and carrots from the garden).  Everybody loved it…I would have thrown in a few more vegetables and a bit more barley if I’d known how much they would love it!  Monday morning, the beef caught up with me…I gave up pork several years ago due to difficulty digesting it (I don’t have a problem with cured meat like ham and bacon, thank goodness!), and have lately started having trouble with beef.  I did not go to the bookstore on Monday.

2. Computer/Internet Issues.   Those started on Tuesday when I got back to the bookstore.  Every time I’d try to leave a comment on somebody’s blog, I’d have to do it two or three times because I would get booted off the Internet…it’s been like that all week!  I’ve had trouble with Hotmail too.

3. Modelling Clay Emergency.  We got home late on Tuesday night, due to Anna having cheerleading, Devin having an orthodontist appointment, and Hope’s cheerleading practice being changed from Wednesday to Tuesday.  Thankfully, Jim’s parents picked up Devin and Hope for us since it was impossible for us to get there in time!  After supper, Hope announced that she had to have modelling clay for a project at school…too exhausted to go out again, I suggested we make it.  She also told me she had a couple of other homework assignments…aargh!  Hope printed a modelling clay recipe from the Internet, and I got out the flour, salt and water.  She wanted four colours of clay…I spent the next hour trying to incorporate food colouring into the rather stiff dough (I really want to thank whichever child lost the lid for the blue food colouring…my hands were blue for three days!).  The colours came out very muddy-looking.  Meanwhile, Hope was busy in the dining room.  After a while, she came out and chucked the clay in the garbage: “I can’t get it to stick!” she said.  “I told you we should have bought it!”  I wrote a note to the teacher to explain why the homework didn’t get done…sigh…

4. Modelling Clay…Take #2.  We brought home massive amounts of dollar store modelling clay for Hope’s project on Wednesday night.  We also got Christmas cards, wrapping paper, and candy canes (for hot chocolate, of course – one of Anna’s “emergencies”).  Hope got right to work with the “good clay” and constructed her cheerleading stunt group.  She told me that the legs kept falling off, so she decided to leave them off.  There is also no “front” in the stunt group (the “back” is hidden behind the “flyer”):

Hope's Cheerleading Stunt Group

5.  Revenge of the Orca Beans.  Jim made supper, but I didn’t eat much because I wasn’t feeling very well.  I had made chili on the weekend with orca and romano beans from our garden, and had put some in my lunch on Wednesday.  Some of the family had eaten it Monday night, but I was still recovering from my “red meat episode” so had opted for cereal instead.  Jim had mentioned a bit of stomach distress after having it for his lunch on Tuesday, but I blamed that on the massive amount of chili powder he’d added to it.  By 6:30 Wednesday night, I was in agony…I spent the next 4 hours in close proximity to the commode and eating the Costco version of Imodium like M & M’s.  In the midst of my misery, I remembered that I had sent some of the killer chili home with Kaylee (Scott won’t eat beans, so she doesn’t make chili), and decided I’d better give her a heads-up.  I dialled her number.  “Hi…you know that chili I gave you?  Did you eat it yet?”  Kaylee told me that she’d planned on having it for lunch the next day.  “Throw it out!” I told her.  “I’m dying here…”

6.  “Expedited” apparently means “Whenever you feel like it.”  I felt like a dishrag on Thursday when I woke up…I opted to skip work again (lucky I can do that!).  Jim didn’t feel well either, so we stayed home together.  Dad phoned me from the store to let me know we had gotten an e-mail about a book I’d ordered for a friend on November 25th.  I had requested “expedited shipping”…according to the e-mail, it was sent on the 29th…it took them four days to get it out of the building!  They also stated that it would take up to 14 business days to arrive!  If time wasn’t of the essence, I wouldn’t have bothered paying the extra for shipping!

7.  Farewell to a dear friend.  Friday was a sad day…members of our book club gathered at a local restaurant for dinner to send a good friend, S., on her way out of the province.  She is moving 2000 miles away with her new man, who we met, and approve of…very nice fellow!  Dad and I gave S. a book about Emily Carr, an artist we knew she liked…S. was moved by the Celtic blessing I wrote in the front.  I had a glass of wine, and a beautiful spinach salad before bidding S. “Adieu”…I know we’ll see her again…she is a Maritimer, and they always come home!


Filed under blogging, books, cooking, family, friends, rants, satire