Tag Archives: politicians

Top Ten Reasons To Live in Canada…

This post was inspired by my friend, Renée, over at Life in the Boomer Lane: http://lifeintheboomerlane.wordpress.com/2010/08/25/the-best-country-in-the-world-is/

Newsweek rated Canada #7 in the world as “best country.”  I think it should have been #1!

For those of you who don’t know my background, I was born in Ohio, but my family moved to Ontario when I was 8 years old (1969).  So for those of  you who aren’t math wizards, I’ve spent the last 41 years living in Canada.  I can say in all sincerity that I’m never leaving! 

Here (with tongue planted firmly in cheek) are my Top Ten Reasons To Live in Canada (in random order as I think of them!):

1. It’s probably the only place in the world where you can bump into someone, and they will apologize to you.  Canadians are the politest people ever (unless they’re drunk -don’t bump into someone holding a bottle of Molson!).

2. Geography lessons are shorter – we only have 10 provinces and 3 territories to learn the names of.  Rivers and lakes are often given Indian names, while cities and their streets are usually named after dead guys or places in England.

3. Our paper money comes in pretty colours – it makes it easier to figure out what you’re giving the clerk at the Great Canadian Dollar Store.  Our dollar coin is called a “loonie” for the bird that’s pictured on it (it’s not a reference to our Queen who’s featured on the front, although it may apply to certain members of her family).

4. Our young men are not required to register for military service on their 18th birthdays…however, they must have worked at least two shifts serving coffee at their local Tim Horton’s outlets.  If they do decide to join the military, they are probably going to be sent over as peacekeepers to some country the Americans have invaded.

5. We elect our governments in a single day…no foolish primaries!  Candidates campaign for about a month before the election.  Campaign costs are measured in thousands of dollars rather than millions.  Canadians have been known to elect prime ministers who didn’t look like movie stars.  The worst political scandal is likely to involve a government minister leaving sensitive documents at his girlfriend’s house (no Watergate here).

6. If one is a Canadian actor or musician, it is possible to move about freely without being constantly accosted by fans (or even recognized).  These artists have to make it south of the border before anyone here pays attention to them (sad but true)!  It’s a different story for hockey players or national news anchors…they will be mobbed wherever they go!

7. Getting sick in Canada is not likely to cause you to lose your house.  Our tax dollars ensure that no one is billed for routine medical appointments, emergency room visits, or hospital stays in semi-private rooms or wards (although cosmetic surgery or dental treatment is a whole other ball of wax!).

8. Our highway signs are in metric – a 100km/hour speed limit sounds so much faster than 60 mph doesn’t it?  We also have compulsory seat belt/motorcycle helmet laws, which often prevents injury in the event of a collision (cleanup after the accident is also quicker when you’re not peeling someone’s body parts off the pavement).

9. Since we basically have only two seasons in Canada (winter and summer), one doesn’t need nearly as much clothing.  Tanning companies make a fortune, because our summer is only three months long.  Strangely, many people wear baseball caps year-round (including women).

10. Handguns are illegal in Canada.  If you cut somebody off on the highway, they probably won’t get out and shoot you (although you could be beaten with a hockey stick!).

I invite my Canadian readers to add to this list…

Advertisements

41 Comments

Filed under rants, self-discovery

Twelve Things I Wouldn’t Do For All The Tea in China…

This is another blog that came from one of those “writing prompts.”  I thought it sounded kind of fun:
1. Spend more than 20 minutes doing hair and makeup.  I’m what you call “low-maintenance” when it comes to that stuff.  Gone are the days when I used to bother using appliances like curling irons.  I shower, blow-dry, spray, put on a “basic” face, and go (I wonder about people who have time to use eyelash curlers!).  One thing I always have on is earrings – I feel naked without them!

This would be an instrument of torture if someone forced me to use this!

2. Own a Hummer.  Seriously, who needs one of these to go to the grocery store?  My order for seven people fits just fine into our Dodge Caravan (and my family eats a lot!).  I might change my mind if I’m ever travelling across the desert in a war zone (which is another thing I wouldn’t do for all the tea in China).

She probably needs a Hummer to carry all her makeup...

3. Skydive (ditto on bungee-jumping).  I’m not afraid of dying…I’m afraid of not dying if something goes wrong!  A friend of mine was injured in a bad military parachuting accident – it wrecked his back, hips, and both his legs – immediate medical discharge (and several years later, a hip replacement!).  Bungee-jumping?  Please – I get dizzy on the third step of a ladder!

This is a view I want to see from safely inside the plane!

4. Drink more than two glasses of wine in one sitting.  I dislike being (or feeling) out of control, so I never get drunk – have only been drunk once in my life, and have never done it again because I didn’t like it.  I also dislike vomiting!

Two is my limit...

5. Treat pets like people.  Don’t get me wrong…I love my dog.  But he will never have his own room or his own furniture, and I will never feed him anything but dog food, Snausages, and the occasional bone.  I also refuse to talk to him in anything but a normal tone of voice (no baby talk).

I would recommend therapy for whoever owns these two canine cowboys...

6. Stay up past midnight (ditto on sleeping until noon).  I have stayed up late a few times, but have always spent most of the following day stifling yawns and trying to keep from nodding off at my desk.  I generally like to be in bed sometime between 10 and 11 (which makes sense when one gets up at 5:30 a.m.).  As far as sleeping in, nine is late for me…

Just call me "Sleepy"...

7. Clean fish or game.  I love fresh fish, but if I’m going to cook it, I definitely don’t want something that’s looking back at me.  The head and the guts have to be gone!  I really like moose meat, but bring it to me once the butcher’s done with it!

I'm not touching these until they're filleted...

8. Take a job as a day care worker.  Again, I like kids (I have them), but if I had to look after someone else’s all day long, there would be issues (likely mental ones for me)!  That job is best left up to the professionals!

This is a terrifying sight for me...

9. Brag about my latest purchase at the mall.  Given that I usually have to be coerced to go there because I hate the mall, and that the only stuff I buy there are generally things one of my children absolutely “had to” have, I don’t have anything to brag about.  I’m more likely to tell you about the apple peeler I scooped up at a yard sale for $3!

Apple Peeler...

10. Dye my hair purple (ditto on body piercings and tattoos).  I’m not a confident enough person to want everybody staring at me (I worry about having broccoli stuck in my teeth).  My hair is coloured regularly by my amazing hairdresser, Heather, who covers up the ever-increasing grey, and uses “wild” colours like blonde, caramel, and cinnamon with foils to jazz up my natural light brown locks.  I waited until I was 22 to get my ears pierced, and will never put any more holes in my body (not on purpose anyway).  My oldest daughter has a tattoo in memory of my mom, which the tattoo artist messed up, and Kaylee is not happy about.  Anna wants a tattoo for her birthday…her design features the breast cancer ribbon (a cause close to all our family’s hearts).  I’m still not crazy about her putting something permanent on her body though.

This wouldn't be a good look for me...

11. Be a politician.  I would never make it.  I hate “kissing ass” and I often speak without thinking first.  I hate long meetings, and listening to people who love the sound of their own voices. I am also incapable of lying, which seems to be a job requirement for most politicians these days (no offense to my friends who are politicians – you wouldn’t be my friends if you were liars!).

Start of a political career...

12. Wear fur (ditto on leather pants).  I personally find the idea of killing an animal just for its fur disgusting (not a problem if the whole animal is used, as it is in the North) – it also messes with the food chain.  Fur is way out of my limited budget.  I’ll never wear leather pants because I would look stupid in them, not to mention being extremely uncomfortable!

This fox fur stole is especially hideous...

What wouldn’t you do for all the tea in China?

15 Comments

Filed under rants, self-discovery