It’s the story of my life…just when I get to love something, it gets taken away…I’m the kiss of death!
This weekend, one of my favourite live music venues is closing after eight years: The Blue Olive in Saint John, New Brunswick. The owners have decided to put a new restaurant in the space. We loved going to shows there because there are very few places for people like us in the city…when I say “people like us,” I mean folks who like to be home by 11 after enjoying a fine evening of entertainment accompanied by a couple of drinks (maximum). I also enjoy exiting with most of my hearing, unlike other venues populated by somewhat younger patrons, where the thumping of the bass remains in your head like a piledriver until the next morning. The entertainers who performed at Blue Olive were high-quality acts and reasonably-priced for those of us who have hungry teenagers to feed. The Blue Olive helped fill the void left by the closures of venues such as Tapps, Melvin’s and Sessions Café, other places I used to hang out in before…it’s all my fault!
Bands have broken up shortly after I’ve discovered them: Madrigal, Modabo, and Vetch…all fine regional acts from the late 90’s and early 2000’s which are now defunct, thanks to my adoration!
I’ve also been the cause of many restaurant closures in Saint John…sometimes the restaurant didn’t close…they just took my favourite thing off their menu! Do you remember Wendy’s beautiful thick Chicken Wraps from the late ’90’s? Gone. I must have bounced too many chunks of chicken off of Hope’s head as she slept in her Snuggli while I ate lunch there on Saturdays! Also gone from Wendy’s are their wonderful Spinach Salad and the Mandarin Chicken Salad…why? I liked them…it’s all my fault! When was the last time you saw the Mushroom Swiss Burger on their menu? I killed that one too! You’d think I’d get special consideration since they named the restaurant after me (sorry…that’s a lie…but Dave Thomas, the guy who started Wendy’s, is a fellow Ohioan)! I dare not try their Natural-Cut Fries with Sea Salt…
Every Tuesday at the Saint John City Market, I used to go to Yogel’s for vegetable pie. One day, they told me they didn’t make it any more…”not enough demand.” Apparently, a customer travelling on a bus every week from the West Side to get their pie wasn’t enough. I never ate there again, and sure enough, they closed within six months!
Other eatery demises I caused were Keystone Kelly’s (club sandwich with sweet potato fries), Boilerworks (California pizza), Café Soha (Flipwiches), D’Amico (spinach salad, thin crust pizza and amaretto chocolate mousse cakes), Ming’s (Chinese food), and Barton’s (chicken burger platter). I hope nobody finds out I like the spinach salad at Urban Deli or the chicken pesto pizza at Pomodori! Oh, no…now I’ve done it!
It happens with TV programs too! I’ve lost track of the number of sitcoms I’ve killed. Jenna Elfman rebounded from the end of Dharma and Greg to star in Accidentally on Purpose (cancelled after one season). David Hyde Pierce of Frasier was a cast member on The Powers That Be, a satire about the First Family in the early ’90’s which had only a 20-episode run. Before he hit it big in Modern Family, Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Mitchell) was in a smart, funny sitcom called The Class, another one-season wonder. His “sister” in Modern Family, Julie Bowen, appeared in Ed, one of my favourite defunct dramedies. [whispering] I love Modern Family!
They’ve cancelled dramas I love from every setting…Cop shows: The Commish, The District, Third Watch and Hill Street Blues…War shows: China Beach and Tour of Duty…Hospital shows: Chicago Hope, St. Elsewhere…School shows: The Education of Max Bickford, and Boston Public. Even my favourite soap opera, Another World, was cancelled! I love Kyle Chandler…he’s survived two dramas I loved: Homefront, and Early Edition. I’m afraid to watch him in Friday Night Lights!
So, to all the fans of the above places, bands, foods, and TV shows, I extend my humble apologies…maybe if I pretend not to care, the things I like will stick around a little longer!
Disclaimer: This is a satirical piece.
I’m pretty sure I’m not responsible for any of these things disappearing. But I would be really happy to have some of them back!