Astrological Shock…There’s No Way I’m a Gemini!

I was born July 17, 1961.  I am a Cancer: a loyal, dependable, clingy, oversensitive Cancer.

Cancer (image from sodahead.com)

 

Yesterday, everything I thought I knew about myself was put in doubt as Anna took great delight in telling me that according to an article in the Globe and Mail, I’m not a Cancer…I’m really a Gemini!  This news made me want to curl up in my crustacean shell and wait until some intelligent person corrects what is surely an elaborate hoax on the scale of Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds radio broadcast in 1938!

Gemini...really...does this sound like me? (image from sodahead.com)

However, since I am a “self-sufficient” Cancer, I turned to the Internet for a description of Gemini personality traits:

Gemini

1. Strengths: energetic, clever, imaginative, witty, adaptable.  No disagreement there…I’m definitely all those things!  Modest, too!

2. Weaknesses: 

a) superficial – I’m about as down-to-earth as you can get.  I couldn’t describe your outfit an hour later, because I don’t care! 

b) impulsive –  I think about everything I do, to the point of paralysis!

c) restless – I love to sit and read for hours.  I sometimes get so absorbed, I forget to go to the bathroom!

d) devious – I don’t think so, unless you count scaring my kids by jumping out at them when they come around the corner!

e) indecisive – Ask my family members if I ever change my mind!  Set in stone, I tell you!

3. Independence:  They will not be pinned down by anyone or any rules. They need to experience the world on their own. Change and freedom are extremely important to Gemini.  I have always been very independent financially, but I count on emotional support from people around me to keep me going.  I hate change!  Freedom…meh!…I’m more about commitment and caring (unless it’s freedom from bills!). 

4. Friendship:

a) Gemini make very interesting and exciting friends.  I’m sure none of my friends would describe me as “exciting” on any level…

b) They are very flighty and will disappear for a long time.  “Flighty”?  I don’t think so.  Ask my best friend…we’ve been friends for 41 years.

c) Do not bog a Gemini down with all of your emotional problems, they are not wont to deal with it because it depresses them and steps on their freedom if you need too much long term help, support and follow up.  Complete strangers tell me their problems on the bus, and I try to help them!

d) Gemini is a social butterfly.  I just snorted tea all over the keyboard…I was laughing so hard!  “Caterpillar”, maybe…

5. Business:

a) They make excellent salespeople because their ease of communication allows them to be clever and make a comeback to anything a person says.  I hate selling!  I usually think of clever comebacks the day after the conversation!

b) They can persuade and manipulate very well.  My children don’t do very much that I tell them, unless cash is involved!

c) They can easily justify any move they make and explain any action.  I ate the whole bag of chips because they were there, and I think that “round” is a good shape!  Not good enough?  Okay…I guess I’m just a pig!

6. Temperament:

a) They can be compared to a wound-up spring as they attempt to absorb everything they can about their surroundings at once.  I’m one of the least observant people on the planet…you could have a live parrot on your shoulder, and it might take me ten minutes to notice!

b) The fact that they enjoy various situations and people add to their nervousness and that means they are almost constantly wound up. However, if they experience boredom and have nothing to survey, they get the same emotions, the need for excitement and variety.  Yup, that’s me…I’m going sky-diving next week, because I’m bored…NOT!

7. Deep Inside: One downfall of Gemini is their superficiality. Geminis can have feeling of discouragement and moodiness although they never allow this to be seen by anyone but their closest friends or family. Gemini usually want everyone to think that they are always happy and doing wonderfully and stress never affects them.  Have you read my blog?  Apparently, you’re all my “closest friends”!

8. Gemini in a Nutshell:

a) They are brimming with energy and vitality.  Yup…I’m off to run that marathon, right after I finish crocheting this afghan!

b) They are always in the know and are the one to see for the latest juicy gossip.  I am so out of the loop, it’s pitiful!  I found out my daughter was pregnant on Facebook!

c) Routine and boredom are Gemini’s biggest fears.  If things don’t go according to my preconceived plan, I get very upset!  Routine is the cornerstone of my existence!

So, it’s settled…I can’t possibly be a Gemini…it’s completely absurd!

I’m just glad I’m not one of those former Scorpios or Sagittarians who’s saddled with being a “Ophiuchus”!  Medical researchers are currently working towards a cure for that…