How to Be Featured in “The Blog”…A Guide for Family Members…

Since I officially have 100 blog posts under my belt (I can’t see them because of the “muffin top” but they’re there, somewhere!), I feel qualified to write this handy guide for family members of bloggers around the world…any resemblance to persons living or dead (except members of my own family) is purely coincidental.  Here are ten things that will get the blogger in your family to talk about you in his/her therapy session  blog:

1. Be talented at something.  I have featured both my 16-year-old daughter, Anna, (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/introducing-anna-guest-photographer/ and https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/05/22/introducing-anna-guest-photographer-part-2/ ) and my fiancé, Jim, (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/04/25/introducing-jim-guest-photographer/ ) for being incredible photographers.  Jim and his son, Devin, are also my live-in Tech Support people…all I have to say is, “Dammit!  We’re off the Net again!” and one of them comes running!  Hope is a good singer – I talked about her entering Saint John Idol (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/07/09/sweating-and-small-stuff/ ).  I have highlighted Brianna and Anna in posts about being a reluctant “Cheer Mom” (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/04/26/adventures-of-a-reluctant-cheer%c2%a0mom%e2%80%a6/ and https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/05/09/adventures-of-a-reluctant-cheer-mom-part-2/ ).  Being really bad at something works too – until recently, I was totally incapable of making piecrust, and mentioned it all the time (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/06/02/my-bucket-list/ and https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/07/22/can-she-make-a-cherry-pie/ ).

2. Give a word a whole new definition.  Twelve-year-old Hope was asked by her older sister last week what a “Lamborghini” was.  “I think it’s a type of noodle?” she responded hopefully.

3. Have a freak accident.  You may have to wait for the blogger to call the ambulance…she’ll be busy photographing your pool of blood for her blog (okay…I’ve never done this myself, but I have talked about when I went through a glass door when I was seven (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/06/21/its-all-about-me/ ), when Anna fell into the blackberry bushes, and when Hope fell off her too-high heels (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/08/29/todays-post-is-brought-to-you-by-the-letter-p/).  Readers love hearing about other people’s pain!

4. Turn the TV/rap music/computer game up really loudly while the blogger is working on the daily post (so loudly that the neighbours call to complain).  This will inevitably lead to a rant in the blog about the joys of raising a family while attempting to practice one’s craft.  Interrupting the writing session with inane questions like “What are we having for supper?” will have the same result.

5. Say something funny.  Hope was riding in the van with her two much older sisters on the way to a Backstreet Boys concert.  Upon being informed that she wasn’t born yet when they were popular, she observed: “I missed a lot when I was in Mom’s stomach.  It was boring in that egg!” (thank you to the Health Education teacher at Hope’s middle school – I think that perhaps Hope didn’t quite grasp the egg concept!).

6. Be cute.  It also helps to be fuzzy and have four legs – I’ve featured our schnoodle, Jake, many times (https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/a-girl-and-her-dog/ and https://writerwoman61.wordpress.com/2010/07/12/my-dog-ate-it-again/ , among others).  Most pet owners will probably have to read this tip to their pets (Jake didn’t need any help…he’s checking his e-mail as we speak!).

7. Do something annoying, like putting your dishes in the sink when the dishwasher’s not full, leaving food wrappers open, or depositing a wet towel in the hamper.  This is guaranteed to gain you a place in the blogger’s next rant!

8. Be considerate and loving.  I have talked about how grateful I am for all of my family members (when they’re not driving me nuts with things like those in #7).  Anna and Hope made supper on Monday, Jim made it last night, and Devin and Brianna will cook on Friday – it’s a new thing we’re trying, called “Give Mom a Break!”

9. Have a personal crisis (lose your job, be bullied at school, have a bad hair day, get dumped by your girlfriend, etc.).  The blogger will probably mention it and even ask for advice about it in his blog.  Who needs therapy when you can have input from readers all over the globe?

10. Mispronounce a word.  Anna recently pronounced “Mafia” with the same accent as you would say “Sophia” (I blame French immersion).  Ditto on using the wrong word for something – the blogger will need to share that.

P.S. It is usually completely useless to beg the blogger not to feature you in his blog, although I have been known to consider it (note to the kids: I like the green bills with the Queen on them).

Okay…now for the serious part…Thank you to my family for being such good sports about my blog…without you, I wouldn’t have any good material!

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16 Comments

Filed under blogging, family, rants, satire

16 responses to “How to Be Featured in “The Blog”…A Guide for Family Members…

  1. Fun! To prove you correct, our now 30-something daughter after taking French in high school, told us she was going to have her tires checked at “Lay” Schwab. Ever since, Les Schwab has been “Lay” Schwab. It’s what we call a “Gedneyism” — BTW the Gedney’s seem to have a language of their own. That’s a whole blog series that probably will never be written.
    N

    • Hi Nancy:

      We have an expression in our family whenever someone says something like that: “That’s going in the book!”

      Would love to see a post or two about the mysterious “Gedney language.”

      Love,

      Wendy

  2. Congrats, Wendy! Love how you did this post *hugs*

  3. Congrats on your 100th Post Birthday! And what a great list. And so very, very true!

  4. Hilarious and true! I tried to think of any items I can add to the list but you’ve got it covered.

    Congratulations on reaching a century! I’ve got a long way to go.

  5. 100 posts –Hooray ! Love your humour. All great tips. It would seem my life is a bit too mundane to be talked about on other blogs. I can see I might have to stir up a bit of drama to be included.. LOL!

  6. This is such a fabulous and funny post! I so enjoy how you write, and your sense of humour! Even though I’m still new to blogging, I’ve had family and friends say “oh, no – I bet that’ll end up in the blog!” I’m still not sure if they say that with fear or hope!

  7. Your humor here is wonderful! I don’t know what I would do without Jeremy’s support when it comes to my blog … love that he’ll take the time to read it now and then too, even when it has nothing to do with him or his interests :).

    • Hi Juliana:

      Thank you for your kind words! I think it’s just considerate to read one’s spouse’s blog…part of being interested in what makes the other person happy…it hopefully makes you closer!

      Wendy

  8. Hi Wendy,

    First, thanks so much for stopping by my blog, because it has brought me to your wonderful pages. I absolutely love your charming sense of humor and lively writing style. I’m so looking forward to reading more from you! The day I was Freshly Pressed (9/9), you asked if you could add me to your blogroll. First, I’m sincerely honored, and also, of course you can, under one condition–may I add you to mine? 🙂

    From one Ohioan to another, happy blogging! Looking forward to your next post!

    Maura

    • Hi Maura:

      Thank you so much for your kind words! I love your blog too!

      Consider yourself added to my blogroll (under “She Said). I would be happy to be on yours as well!

      “TEStazyk” (on my blogroll under “He Said), is from Cleveland, but living in New Zealand. He’s good too!

      Looking forward to your next post as well (mine probably won’t be until tomorrow – busy weekend!).

      Wendy

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